I`m not sure what exactly triggering is, but if has to do with what actually happened, this could be......

I was thinking I would be able to tell this from beginning to end in one sitting, Ive never done that before, but it seems to much. So here`s the first part.

I think I must have been three or four, my very first memories are when we moved to our new house and I remember being afraid of the long, long hallway and I would go outside to pee rather than walk down that hall on my own. That summer my uncle was in a motorcycle accident and broke his back. Nothing paralyzing or anything unfortunately, but he came to recover and was staying in our guest room. He was in a body cast and bedridden. I loved my uncle, he was so funny and he was around a lot anyway. He was my mother`s younger brother and I guess during those really early years I saw him more than I did my dad who worked so much and traveled so much for work.

Anyway,what I remember first was I was with him in the guest room on his bed and he was showing me a comic book. In it there was an old man who was giving a toddler a bottle. Then the old man switched the bottle for his penis. I didn`t know it was anything but a comic book, a picture book. But I know now he was trying to get me to do him like the baby in the comic book was doing to the old man. Well, that time my mother came and took the comic book away thats pretty much all I remember.

But I have this strange vivid memory, totally unconnected with that instance. Its in that room again but there is this funny little man kind of hiding behind the cedar chest, like gnome or something, every time I think of him I want to laugh. Makes me wonder if my uncle finally got me to do it and thats the first time I zoned out.

And niggling at the back of my head --- if my mom saw the comic book and what it was about, why was I ever, ever left alone with that monster again?????