I'm glad you were able to come to terms with things and reconcile with your brother before his death. You were indeed abused over all those years, as others have already commented, and it's worth bearing in mind that a child does not really know what he's getting himself into when abuse starts. Sometimes he doesn't know it's sex, or if he does, he somehow can't believe that someone he loves and trusts would do anything to hurt him or misuse him. And after the abuse has been going on for awhile the boy just doesn't see that he has any choice. I know I didn't. I used to tell myself what does it matter anymore, and I felt like I didn'[t deserve better treatment in the first place.

The way I like to look at is is to realize that a young boy doesn't see that he has choices. And if he doesn't see those choices, can we really say he has them at all?

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)