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#288865 - 05/26/09 05:28 AM Teddy Bears
blueshift Offline

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
How do you guys feel about teady bears? I have weird mixed feelings about them.

I had a really bad nightmare the other day and my friend/housemate heard me screaming and came in to comfort me. He gave me my teady bear to hold and part of me felt comforted by it but part of me felt embarrassed.

I feel childish... even though it's actually childish to feel that way! No irony there! But it makes me feel weak somehow too... like somehow not holding a teady bear is more courageous and manly. I can't believe how much BS I've internalized and how deeply I internalized it!

My Story
My Art

#288880 - 05/26/09 10:45 AM Re: Teddy Bears [Re: blueshift]
christianfather Offline

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
My T actually has be sleeping with my teddy bear that I had as a child from my childhood. It's the same bear I had during the abuse and the only thing I could tell the terrible secrets to during the abuse. When I have nightmares it brings me comfort during the aftermath just holding and hugging him until I fall asleep.

#288887 - 05/26/09 12:14 PM Re: Teddy Bears [Re: christianfather]
king tut Offline

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2488
Loc: UK
I told my teddy too, the only person that i could tell too, i started drawing a picture but i never finished it, i just did a light outline. I will finish it when i have time.

I hope it isn't triggering or anything. Trigger warning just in case.

I think it is ok to have a teddy, Doug. I mean, i know it doesn't feel very manly to still have a teddy, but it has deep emotional connections, and that's just how it is.

#288896 - 05/26/09 12:52 PM Re: Teddy Bears [Re: king tut]
petercorbett Offline

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2509
Hi all.

Just awsome king tut.

But to beg your pardon............. but I got a .......stuffed MOOSE. Oh I bought him at 70 yrs old, to hang on to at my WOR in Georgia.

Heal well my brothers/friends.

Pete (Irishmoose)

Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.

#288901 - 05/26/09 01:35 PM Re: Teddy Bears [Re: petercorbett]
DannyT Offline

Registered: 09/14/03
Posts: 645
There's all kinds of love in the world, Doug. Teddy deserves some, too. wink I feel bad for people who lose their friends (of any kind) and don't have them to turn to. When we're little we have the power to grant life in a way we generally lose as we get older. I think one lucky bit of our abuse is this ability to maintain that power when get older, maybe because we get a bit stuck in childhood (so many posts about this here). That's good, too, not just bad. We get the positive with the negative.

Teddy is still alive for you. That's a blessing.

The embarrassment comes from our culture telling us (abused or not) to grow up: when growing up means dropping imagination for reality (the kind of science reality that kills mystery).

I'd rather have the mystery. And the friends. The idea of them not being alive anymore brings tears to my eyes.


Edited by DannyT (05/26/09 01:37 PM)

#288916 - 05/26/09 04:18 PM Re: Teddy Bears [Re: DannyT]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 01/28/08
Posts: 2615
Loc: Central PA
I have a teddy. My wife sometimes makes me feels embarrased about having it, but I think it's more to do with the fact, that sometimes, just like a little kid, he (the teddy) and I talk and even have whole conversations together :-)

Not that I'm seriously talking to anyone but myself, but sometimes it's just fun to let go and be a little kid again.


#288919 - 05/26/09 04:42 PM Re: Teddy Bears [Re: JustScott]
Gus Bierer Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/16/05
Posts: 160

i have a teddy bear too. He's about 4 inches tall but he is so irresistable. He's got his arms and legs splayed like he's ready to give a hug.

It's little things like this that break up the insanity. When i get to worried about work or how i'm going to pay my bills. I stop for a second and look at that bear, that offers nothing but love.


My Story

#288920 - 05/26/09 05:04 PM Re: Teddy Bears [Re: Gus Bierer]
TJ jeff Offline

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3590
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
absolutely nothing wrong at all in having a stuffed animal at any age Doug - we have been through a lot - sometimes there is just that inner part of us that needs to be comforted (the inner child) - and the best way to do that sometimes is through a teddy bear - why a stuffed animal you ask??? - well... I don't know your past so I can only answer for myself... but... a stuffed animal was just about the only "safe" thing that did'nt hurt me as a child - and even though I'm now much older there is still a part of me that really needs that "safe" feeling sometimes

there are other threads throughout the site where we have talked about teddy bears (or just stuffed animals in general) - perhaps if you do a search (link at top of page) of the site it will help you to see that it is a very normal thing for us as survivors to have stuffed animals

Lewis - they say a picture is worth a thousand words - but your drawing is worth more words than I could ever say - thank you for sharing it with us - it speaks so very much to my own past

Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

#288922 - 05/26/09 05:21 PM Re: Teddy Bears [Re: TJ jeff]
lars3229 Offline

Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
My teddy bear is often the one thing that can orient me after a nightmare or flashback. It really helps having it nearby.

Is it embarrassing? I supposed if I was somewhere with a bunch of non-survivors I might be a bit embarrassed about sleeping with my teddy bear, but then again.... who cares? It gets me through the night and quite frankly, that's more important to me than what anyone else might think.

My advice? Keep your teddy bear close and don't be afraid of the comfort it offers. Hang in there bro.

You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

#288954 - 05/26/09 09:29 PM Re: Teddy Bears [Re: king tut]
christianfather Offline

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
King Tut,

These sketching's are great.

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