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#288606 - 05/23/09 07:35 PM Re: Feeling hopeless and close to tears [Re: kolisha54]
rainbow Offline

Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 28
Dear Kolisha54,

I sent you a PM.

I just want to add here though that my guy is still in denial. If he was actively in recovery and making some progress then I would have stayed. I want to emphasize that because I don't want it to seem to all the dear, wonderful men on this board that a woman abandoned her guy because it was too problematic.


Edited by rainbow (05/23/09 07:35 PM)

#288667 - 05/24/09 12:58 PM Re: Feeling hopeless and close to tears [Re: rainbow]
kolisha54 Offline

Registered: 12/02/03
Posts: 475
Loc: Brooklyn, NY
Thanks to everyone!

I met yesterday with someone who has known him professionally for a number of years & hate to say it but we had a very frank discussion. My guy is more deeply troubled than I'd even imagined - nothing dramatic like acting on a SSA or cheating on me, but just little things here & there that all add up to some "serious issues."

Rainbow - what you have said is 100% dead on: if he is not seriously engaged in recovery work, there is no sense in wasting so much of my emotional energy on this. After last night, something has happened that I have always dreaded: my love has become twinged with pity. And THAT makes it so much easier for me to disengage.

If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now... when? --Hillel

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