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#281658 - 03/31/09 04:59 PM sexual self awareness in children [triggers]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
this is reprinted from: Child Assault Prevention Training Center Of Northern California

i just thought it would be interesting to post these and see how people agree or disagree with the stages.

At Birth:

Capacity to have an erection (male)
Capacity for vaginal lubrication (female)
All sex organs present
In males testes may or may not be descended into scrotum

During First Year:

Show genital guarding
Manipulate own genitals
Orgasm in boys from 5 months
Orgasm in girls from 4 months

Two Years:

Rebelliousness, un-cooperative, fiercely independent
Know their own mind
Differences between males and females
Male or female gender identification is fixed[ i thought you'd like that one blush ]
Interest in posture of males and females when urinating
Is interested in physical differences between the sexes
Learns to name body parts
Capacity to fantasize
Loves rituals regarding bedtime, bath, meals, and story time
Emotionally stormy
Don't want anyone to touch their buttocks
Develops positive and/or negative attitudes toward elimination and urination depending on toilet training [i'm still pee-shy at age 57]
Self-esteem and trust in others first established

Three Years:

Pleasant, initial shyness
Girls attempt to urinate standing up
Plays at adult male - female roles
Continues to masturbate

Four Years:

Bathroom slang and name calling - "pooh face," "shit head"
Interested in peeking at others eliminating and urinating
May demand privacy for self
Plays "nurse - doctor - patient" games with peers, plays hospital and takes rectal temperature
Enjoys nudity [still do]
Aware of gender and sex roles
Boys scornfully chauvinistic
Continues to masturbate [i don't remember that!]

Five through Seven Years:

Reinforcement of gender identity continues
Identification with same sex parent strengthens [nope]
Mutual body exploration with same sex is common [ i had no such curiosity]
Sexually oriented daydreams and fantasies [ not me]
Feelings toward opposite sex begin to become more ambivalent [does not apply...was never there in the first place]

Eight through Twelve Years:

Best friend or buddy common [yes, joey...sigh...]
Peer group begins to dominate in identity seeking [was never a joiner]
Beginning of separation process from parents
Early menstruation begins in some girls, secondary sex characteristics develop
Strong feelings of modesty begin to be expressed [modesty was legislated under threat of physical consequences]

From Thirteen Years:

Puberty and resultant body changes proceed in boys and girls [was a late pubic or facial hair till early 20's]
Menstruation occurs in almost all girls by age 16
Ovulation established in girls 18 - 24 months after menarche
Usually estrangement from parents as sexual authority figures becomes more pronounced
Masturbation and sexual fantasies become integrated and common, especially among males [yep, my brother 'did me' then in my fantasies i kept doing him and every boy who reminded me of him]
Sexual attraction of the opposite sex becomes stronger [sorry, not me]
Mood swings develop in body image from extremely self-critical to overly vain
More attention is paid to personal appearance and dress
Sex role expectations begin to be acted out according to culturally established patterns (dating, petting, etc.)

Edited by Sans Logos (03/31/09 05:01 PM)
Edit Reason: btw, don't you just LOVE boxes?
Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC

#281670 - 03/31/09 06:26 PM Re: sexual self awareness in children [triggers] [Re: Sans Logos]
Trucker51 Offline

Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Jesus these kids are doing these things early these days!!!

Most of that was delayed a few years for me back in the
1960s and into the 1970s for me.

Maybe it was my strict religious upbringing or ???


"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark

#281687 - 03/31/09 07:23 PM Re: sexual self awareness in children [triggers] [Re: Sans Logos]
joelRT Offline

Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Well then, according to this I was never a child which just re-affirms my conviction that I was born old.

90% of this does not apply to me - welcome to the violent 'familly' environment!

My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

#281735 - 04/01/09 01:09 AM Re: sexual self awareness in children [triggers] [Re: joelRT]
AndyS87 Offline

Registered: 12/12/08
Posts: 310
Loc: sorry, but I don't say on the ...
Well, I don't remember paying much attention to sex or my penis or any of that when I was a young kid. I guess when I was about six covered the exploration of other kids, but a lot of that wasn't a big deal for me. I'm a twin, my twin and I were bathed in the same bathtub until we were probably 5 or so, and since I'm a fraternal twin and my other twin is a sister there was really no curiousity, everything was right there out in the open plain to see. Definitely enjoyed running around naked when I was little kid, def. became more self conscious and critical of my body as I got older (I've wanted to be one of those shredded dudes since I was a little kid...not body builder shredded, more like Bruce Lee shredded, anyways....) Around six was when my cousin and I were engaging in some of that normal exploration of the same sex, but by the next year I was starting to have unwanted experiences at his hands, and from there things kinda got skewed.

I have always been modest, I'm still best friends with my two buddies that I met in fourth and fifth grade respectively, as far as teenage years I was def. an outsider of the normal group. Didn't date girls cause I didn't think any of them would spring for me, and I pretty much just watched lots of porn and wondered why there weren't even any girls who were interested in me. Bummer. Sexual attraction to women did get stronger, but not noticeably until I became aware of just what the CSA that occured in my childhood was responsible for. I mean when I was 16 or 17 if I was driving and I saw a hot girl I'd stop and stare, but I didn't think much of it. It was there I suppose, I just didn't notice it as much then as I did when I started becoming aware of the significance of what happened to me. Now I just gotta work on that whole being afraid of talking to women in a dating/sex context. As far as picking up expectations, from the time I was 4 I was very much a manly man. My Dad was a contractor, and he built a deck and porch on the back of the house when I was four. I was right out there with him using a hammer, a nail gun (with supervision!!) and a powerdrill. I would go hang out at work with him and I got to hang out in the excavators. It was freakin' awesome. And then in my spare time my entire life was consumed by dinosaurs. I swear to god I used to know every single one by name and could tell you what was so cool about them. Long since forgotten, but w.e. Also, my potty mouth went on for a long time. I remember being thirteen and my sister and I would argue constantly, and if I burned her really good or she got me really good then whoever just got burned would go "OH YEAH!? WELL YOU'RE A POOPY HEAD." Which being thirteen was so absolutely ridiculous that no argument could seriously continue after that. But at age 5, those were fighting words.

Going back over that, not too much rings a bell. I def. don't remember getting any erections before I was in fourth or fifth grade.

#281833 - 04/01/09 08:14 PM Re: sexual self awareness in children [triggers] [Re: AndyS87]
michael banks Offline

Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca

Great info, shows that we are sexual beings from birth.
I was born with my favorite toy. Is not God great?


To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

#281941 - 04/02/09 05:08 PM Re: sexual self awareness in children [triggers] [Re: michael banks]
TJ jeff Offline

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3594
Loc: Northern Wisconsin

When was this written?

I do find it very odd that it lists "Continues to masturbate" at 3 and 4 years old... (as if "most" start it earlier than that...)(though I was about 4 when uncle started to masturbate me)

I also find it extemely ironic that it lists "Plays "nurse - doctor - patient" games with peers, plays hospital and takes rectal temperature" at 4 years old - as that is exactly how things started with my uncle at that age...

sibling "exploration" did'nt really seem to start between me and my brother till about 8 and stoped somewhere's around 12 or 13 (i've always wondered for years if i was the one who started it with him - even though he is 16 months older than me)

Modesty was never something instilled in me - I grew up in a room without any doors - it was the common room upstairs that everyone had to walk through to go upstairs/downstairs or to the bathroom - there was no privacy ever - nudity was a common thing - even as a teen I can remember mom saying to me "you aint got nothing I hav'nt seen before" - even yet today if I'm at their house there really is'nt much "modesty"

from 13... - well - by then I think I was already most of the way through puberty (though it was about that age that my voice "cracked")

Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

#283936 - 04/17/09 12:21 AM Re: sexual self awareness in children [triggers] [Re: AndyS87]
jls Offline

Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
I remember erections starting for me in grade 6. I started masturbating in earnest then too. I must have been around 10 or 11, which I suppose is pretty age appropriate.

Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.

#287916 - 05/18/09 02:06 PM Re: sexual self awareness in children [triggers] [Re: jls]
king tut Offline

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2488
Loc: UK
It is inexact and inaccurate and it assumes far far far too much. If it wasn't for a few points that are quite ridiculous i wouldn't be so opposing, but as it stands it shouldn't be taken seriously...and the people who made it shouldn't be taken too seriously either. Clearly not much input, thought, work or appropriate review has gone into this. It is inexact enough to be misleading in some parts and therefore quite useless and even damaging.

For me i guess i did alot of young stuff- but for different reasons.


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