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#282668 - 04/07/09 06:10 PM Becoming a Man
Freedom49 Offline

Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State

I started out as a boy.
I was happy as a boy.
But then things happened I did not understand as a boy.
I trusted the adults in my life as a boy and was betrayed as a boy.

Things were confusing as a boy.
There were bad things I feared as a boy.
I sometimes hid as a boy.
I chose not to remember as a boy things that were confusing and hurt.

Eventually I got bigger but was still a boy.
My heart was still that boy’s heart.
My emotions were still a boy’s emotions.
I still thought like a boy.
I still acted like a boy.
I still responded like a boy.
I still hid like a boy.
My needs were a boy’s needs.

I looked like a man but most of the time the boy was there.
Wounded, confused, needy, scared, protective, silent, hiding.

Learning to be a man has been hard.
Knowing that I needed to do that was hidden for a long time.
But now that I see it I am moving to do it.
Learning grown up skills for the first time is difficult and scary for me.
I feel awkward and uneasy.
Naked and vulnerable and that is not a good feeling.

Still the things I did as a child do not serve me well now.
I must grow up and put away my childish things.
And I will be OK for the first time in my life.
I will be a man ALL the time.
Still, I remember the boy and he is safe now.
He finally has a man to love and protect him.
He is at peace.

#282714 - 04/08/09 01:11 AM Re: Becoming a Man [Re: Freedom49]
christianfather Offline

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
Wow, That's great and heartfelt.

#282769 - 04/08/09 03:56 PM Re: Becoming a Man [Re: Freedom49]
Geeders Offline

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada


My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

#282854 - 04/09/09 04:39 AM Re: Becoming a Man [Re: Geeders]
sojourn111 Offline

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 86
Loc: midwest
I needed that. I have beem feeling some boy fears in parenting and working in a mans world and you hit it all right on the head. Even the man in me to protect the boy. God knows, I needed what you said. Thank you for it.

#282879 - 04/09/09 12:42 PM Re: Becoming a Man [Re: sojourn111]
Freedom49 Offline

Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State
You are welcome Sojourn111, I am glad it helped you to read as it helped me to write.


#286176 - 05/03/09 08:24 PM Re: Becoming a Man [Re: Freedom49]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Nice work. I'm glad you are coming to such peace about things.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)


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