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#28548 - 12/19/02 07:16 PM Re: compulsive masturbation
Muldoon Offline

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
how come I know this, but can't get my head around doing it ?

So I can.t say that masturbating is bad but Love was so much better when I didn't masturbate daily.
If there's a secret to this - will someone please share it with me.

Well I don,t know any secret all I can say is it just happened. I was so busy dealing with My 1st. week of being a survivor that I didn,t even think about masturbating.When my wife and I finnaly got around to lovemaking it had been 7 days. That time was such a great experence that I never thought about masturbating again until a few weeks ago.

One thing that has helped also is that I have worked with my wife to teach her other ways of providing me with MALE SEXUAL AROUSAL. I am sure that most of us have some bad throught about being frondaled by our preps, but when a love one does it to us it can be such an release Wife and I try to cuddle a few times during the week as we watch TV or listen to music. We have one simple rule I should never think that it will lead to lovemaking. Our cuddle sessions seem to be the release I need to get me by until we have the right moment to make love.
The more I think about this the hand jobs without climax is what keeps me from masturbating. Thanks for asking Lloydy

Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

#28549 - 12/19/02 07:37 PM Re: compulsive masturbation
Cement Offline

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 740
Loc: Southern California
Zadok - That is the best advice I have read here so far. And I have gotten a lot of good advice here.

Muldoon - I think you are my 'brother from another mother.' When I started to read your rpevious post, I thought I was reading my own. Literally. I stopped to see if I had misread and was just rereading a post I had written.

Dave - the apnea story resonates and your openness is a guide to me.

Wuamei - I am always thankful to you for your studied reading of what I write and your encouragement.

Sleepy - well, sleepy, what can I say, you started this wonderful thread anfd I think you know we share so much in the way of experience and feelings. Thanks.

and thank you to everyone here.

And let the darkness fear our light.

#28550 - 12/19/02 08:35 PM Re: compulsive masturbation
RJD Offline

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 326
Loc: jefferson City, Mo,usa
This thread is terrific. I have avoided even opening it. "Gee I wonder why that is?" At this point I'm still not ready to dig too deep in my muck again around this issue, so I'll stay on an intellectual level, a well honed defense tool. I don't think I've seen it here yet but in a world history class 25 years ago a teacher was describing the beliefs of the ancient Greeks. He mentioned in passing that the ancients believed that ejaculate contained miniscule (too tiny for the eye to see) complete human beings that didn't grow until they were in the womb of a woman. So to spill ones seed was murder. He said it is believed that this is where the notion of sin in connection with masterbation came from. I've not heard this anywhere else, but it took a ton of pressure off me because I knew better then the ancients what sperm contained. It cartainly was not the whole story of my experience w masterbation, but for now....

#28551 - 12/19/02 09:40 PM Re: compulsive masturbation
JamesMichael Offline

Registered: 07/24/02
Posts: 134
This is a hard topic to talk about.

#28552 - 12/20/02 12:10 AM Re: compulsive masturbation
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I just read through this topic again, and Sleepy's first post is about the 'compulsion' that drives us to masturbate, not long after I make a crack about having an arm like Popeye.

And something else struck me then, I can remeber times when I have jacked off until I had cramp in my arm, my dick was sore, and I nearly had a heart attack

The pleasure was nil - but the compulsion was total, and I would carry on and on until I succeeded !

That's nothing at all to do with sex, relief or pleasure.
I suspect it's beating myself up ( literally ! ) to make myself feel .........???? I don't know what really - maybe 'better' than I was feeling before ?

It sure as hell dont work


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#28553 - 12/20/02 02:51 AM Re: compulsive masturbation
smp Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/16/02
Posts: 3
Loc: Jerusalem, Israel
Everyone here is a strong and heroic man. I do not feel the least bit uncertain that each and every one of you has the complete ability to fully and completely recover from the abuses you have experienced.

It takes primarily one ingredient, with whatever seaonsings you prefer: An enthusiatic and burning desire and commitment to a 100% focus in your life on the value of meaning in life...With this tool alone you can replace all feelings of remorse, regret, confusion, lack of focus, and survivorship thinking with joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, happiness, and productivity.

Of course, as men we then learn to put this commitment into action, and to use all our intellect, emotions and our bodies for the pursuit and fulfillment of our lives.

It has been, will be, and is always and only up to each of us.


#28554 - 12/20/02 02:53 AM Re: compulsive masturbation
Wuamei Offline

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Well said SMP!


"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

#28555 - 12/20/02 03:52 AM Re: compulsive masturbation
Don-NY Offline

Registered: 08/06/02
Posts: 546
Loc: Long Island, NY

I just want to take this opportunity to welcome you. I am fascinated by a man who is a Computer Scientist, Yeshiva Student, and a Juggler!

To me, these represent a person who is fully grounded and engaged in the present, yet knows the value of history and tradition, and the wisdom they impart which can help us find our way safely and peacefully into the future .

And beyond all that, you juggle. Marvelous.

I especially appreciate your last post for the truth in it and the faith that you express in all of us and our abilities. It's nice to be reminded.

I think you have a point of view that will add greatly to our community here.

Again, Welcome.


If you understand everything, some things are just as they are. If you understand nothing, things are still just as they are.

#28556 - 12/20/02 08:09 AM Re: compulsive masturbation
rax Offline

Registered: 12/02/00
Posts: 75
Loc: Newark, CA
I wonder if anyone sees this the way I see it.
I see masturbation as a healthy release of sexual energy.

Given the options :
a) Watch porn, masturbate
b) Go out, be a slut, get laid, re-enact abuse, and endanger my life

I'd choose "a." anyday.
I've been a slut, and it didnt make me happy.
And Im not ready for commitment until I figure out my own self. And I dont think I would want to deny myself the simple pleasure of self-sexual-release.


#28557 - 12/20/02 08:26 AM Re: compulsive masturbation
Happy Birthday andrew-almost52 Offline

Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 243
Loc: canada
Hey Jeff (Zadok1), I was fascinated by your handling of the subject matter. No pun intended of course. I agree that excessive masturbation does potentially take away from intimacy with one's significant other. However, keeping up with the structured regiment of being allowed to indulge oneself that you have successfully fashioned for yourself would drive me round the proverbial bend. But hey, different strokes for different folks. And again, no pun intended. ;\)

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