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#283603 - 04/14/09 12:22 PM Re: did you have an adult you could tell? [Re: fromtoday]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1

"Never tell or YOU'LL go to juvie hall"

That, and many many over factors kept me from telling. My mother was even told it was going on. in 1970 no one dealt with these things...especially when 'bad" kids are involved (I was the "bad" kid).

You are doing a great job creating a license to tell. PLEASE PLEASE make certain that there are no social taboos associated with discussing body parts. THAT can kill a disclosure.

A child needs to be able to discuss his penis with the same matter-of-factness as his foot.

#283615 - 04/14/09 01:58 PM Re: did you have an adult you could tell? [Re: Still]
nathan555 Offline

Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
I too had no one to tell

to this day the school authorities are lacking the sensitivity to adequately respond.

they have no restorative programme

male survivors are ignored

my father instead of letting my loving grandparents mind me

took me to his perp collegues house of hell

now he is in denial

blessed are those who have someone to tell


5 depending on God's grace gives hope
6 my dark side , my hurt inner being my struggle
8 looking to the day of overcomming

#283628 - 04/14/09 03:29 PM Re: did you have an adult you could tell? [Re: fromtoday]
Daniel_forgotten Offline

Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 479
i had no one to tell. Had no parents and all adults close to me knew and abused me or just let it happen. when i got older, at 8 i ran away and hid in a friend's house. When his parents found out they took me back home. I told them I didn't want to go back but didn't tell them i was being abused bcause i didn't know what that meant. For me it wasn't abuse, it was just the way it was. At 10 i ran away again but didn't tell a word bcause i knew nobody would care or worst, they could do it too. Then they found me and i went back home and met new adults but they abused me too. I had a breakdown once at school but didnt tell anything and next day i was forbidden to go back. There wasn't a safe adult in my life at all.

#283659 - 04/14/09 10:38 PM Re: did you have an adult you could tell? [Re: Daniel_forgotten]
nathan555 Offline

Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
Your story highlights the need for schols and communities to have and operate effective Child Protection policies.

What an indicement o the school system to not pick up on the abuse
and how dare they put you in the too hard basket?

What do they think they are there for?
an easy life on a good salary?

I shouldn't be suprised I was abused by three teachers
two were Dept Principals

I wonder time you must ask
If only just one
just one adult had of cared?"

Nathan 5

#283664 - 04/14/09 11:00 PM Re: did you have an adult you could tell? [Re: nathan555]
petercorbett Offline

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2509
Hi Guys,

Nope I surely didn't have anyone to tell. My mother was the first person to sexually abuse me. I had no father. No real family at all.

Some people knew that there was something definately wrong with this boy. Doing poorly in school, a loner, shy and agressive.

I was even taken to some sort of a clinic where they had hooked up wires to my head. From my perspective they surely had the wrong Corbett hooked up, it should have been my "mother", I never did find out what that was all about.

Besides I had MY SECRET to keep as my abuser was the "Mother and Father" that I didn't have. He paid attention to this lonley boy.

But I sure did tell my 2 boys to tell me immediately if anyone touched them sexually. And I also told my 2 grandsons to be careful and tell mom & dad if anything sexually happened to them.

Heal Well my brothers/friends.

Pete (Irishmoose)

Edited by petercorbett (04/14/09 11:01 PM)
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.

#283672 - 04/14/09 11:43 PM Re: did you have an adult you could tell? [Re: here4him]
here4him Offline

Registered: 01/09/09
Posts: 21
I read through your posts in tears. It saddens me that so many of our young men don't have anyone looking out for them. How are you supposed to learn that if you don't have an example? And this is so rampant yet you'd never know. You are all in my prayers and in my heart I hope you are touched healed and blessed. >:-<

#283682 - 04/15/09 01:03 AM Re: did you have an adult you could tell? [Re: here4him]
1islandboy Offline

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 906
Loc: washington

My dad was a rager. In my case...I feel this had unintended ramifications of setting up an ideal setting for my abuse.

My dad has told me on numerous occasions...that he had no idea what was happening, and it's had to much anger and needed to much time to vent. When were you supposed to find the time to listen?

So, to answer your question...In my enviroment, I didn't feel comfortable in telling anyone...and so told, the best way that I could...

I'm a Problem Child (Ac/Dc)


Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

#284633 - 04/20/09 10:21 PM Re: did you have an adult you could tell? [Re: here4him]
JDBook Offline
New Here

Registered: 11/06/07
Posts: 14
Loc: Texas, USA
I grew up in a loving, Christian family. My parents were loving parents. They mentioned throughout the years that I could always come to them if I had a problem or if something happened. Yet, for 5 years (age 7-12) I was being sexually abused by an older teenager/young adult male in the neighborhood. So in answer to your question, yes I had an adult I could tell. However, I never told my parents. I still haven't told my parents and it ended 12 years ago when we moved to a different suburb. Why didn't I tell my parents, if they had told me I could tell them anything. Fear. My abuser told me lies but at the time I didn't realize they were lies. Lies, such as if I told anyone I would be in just as much trouble as him. Lies, such as I will hurt your family in front of you if you ever tell. How is a young boy suppose to know that they won't get in trouble for telling and that in actuality the abuser probably wouldn't bring any harm on the family if I were to tell. Furthermore, there was an episode of Rescue 911. My mom was watching it in the living room while my dad was in the kitchen cooking. I came in after finishing some homework and started watching the episode. There was a scene where a young girl was raped by an adult male. I don't recall everything that happened other than that. Yet, I remember asking my mom if it was possible for a boy to be raped. She said that she wasn't for certain, but that she figured it was possible. I then went out to the kitchen and asked my dad the same question. He replied that he thought it could and came back and asked me why. Without any hesitation I said, no particular reason I was just wondering. He didn't press any and didn't try to inquire any further. Neither did my mom. That was their chance. I never brought the subject up again and they never mentioned the incident again. But after that I never felt I could go to them about what was happening. I felt that if they didn't care enough to ask questions and to push for why I was wondering if a boy could be raped, then I felt they didn't care about me. I have no idea if they have any idea about what happened to me for 5 years.

I applaud your efforts to try and let you son know that if anything happens that he can come to you. My hope is that he never has to go through what many of the guys here at MS have had to go through.

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