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#278384 - 03/06/09 02:00 AM Re: Pray-Away [Re: Still]
michael banks Offline

Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca

That is one of the main reasons I don't go to church much anymore.
All those well intentioned bible thumbers.
They mean well but don't have a clue in what it is too deal with csa issues.
Jesus would not set foot in most places that are called churches.
But I also don't do alot of AA meeting anymore because of the same reason.

Dogma is not the cure for what ails us survivors.
Besides I believe in GOD not in churches.
The two are not the same thing.

I put my trust in God. Not in man.


To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

#278388 - 03/06/09 02:24 AM Re: Pray-Away [Re: michael banks]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Yeah....I once entered a prayer request into a Christian Radio station when I was just beginning to fall apart with the PTSD stuff. Told them (annon) my brief situation. They sent back advice to stop sinning with my evil thoughts from the past.

#278389 - 03/06/09 02:28 AM Re: Pray-Away [Re: Still]
christianfather Offline

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
I had a minister from my church to tell me that. Said that thing about the rapes was sinful thoughts. I haven't been back to church since. That was 2 years ago.

#278399 - 03/06/09 03:07 AM Re: Pray-Away [Re: Still]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
They sent back advice to stop sinning with my evil thoughts from the past.

that's one of the reasons why i reject the christian right version of christianity.

there is no room in the inn for compassionate resonance.

i'm still praying for and with you,


Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC

#278401 - 03/06/09 03:17 AM Re: Pray-Away [Re: Still]
Barkabus Offline

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
There is only ONE whom will never betray anyone, and they killed him about 1978 years ago.

Thank God the story doesn't end there.

#278521 - 03/07/09 05:14 AM Re: Pray-Away [Re: Still]
nathan555 Offline

Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
There are many Christians and Pastors locked into repentance ministry (which is appropriate if I sinned - as I do )
but unhelpful and counter productive for csa

I tell them to change their approach.

Robbie - we know God loves us and He has a way to heal us

seek out Christian who DO understand

I guess I am fortunate I was able to mention my csa at men's group this morning
but I did already know there were at least two other male survivors present

a Christian understand begins with Isaiah 61

Jesus Christ took our pain in His suffering
when we feel our pain and His pain
and He took our pain ...

you have brothers who have also suffered who do understand

when I go to Sat night church in two hours I am going to pray for other hurting guys as well as myself

Any Pastor can talk
show me a Pastor who can cry

Edited by nathan555 (03/07/09 01:51 PM)
Edit Reason: postscrpt

#278522 - 03/07/09 05:21 AM Re: Pray-Away [Re: christianfather]
nathan555 Offline

Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
Christian Father
see my reply to Robbie

yours makes me mad

Jesus was infuriated with fake ministers like that

He called them
"whitewashed tombes"
"scribes pharisees actors"

I grieves me as a Christian at the number of Ministers and Christians who are in denial
who don't want to hear our story

rape is a sin and a crime

It wasn't our fault we speak the truth as ew tell our story
truth sets us free

ministers like that bind their people

yes - find a real Minister in a real church


#278591 - 03/08/09 04:16 AM Re: Pray-Away [Re: Still]
wojax Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/22/04
Posts: 171
Loc: Florida
Hi Rob

I have been reading the posts with intrest. Pastors and lay people can be crule sometimes without meaning to..They dont understand what you (we) have gone through and it scares them
so they lable it as your sin. God understands and Loves you just the way you are

In the state of georgia a man can not be is sexual asult...I dont understand there logic and it scares me for the guy that was raped.

All prayer is answard some time God says NO....But we dont stop Praying...Dont give up on the Church them understand make them be the church God wants them to be...

Praying always for you Brothers.....Gary

Jer 7:23 ps 91:16

#278601 - 03/08/09 06:15 AM Re: Pray-Away [Re: wojax]
FormerTexan Offline

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12091
Loc: Denver, CO
I love that God's understanding reaches farther than that of the limited people we know around us, particularly those who want to sweep something under the rug. I truly feel that those who do not understand think that prayer is the way to approach what they do not understand. I agree that praying to God should involve our deepest hurts and worries. It just seems to be a catch-all answer from many folks, without putting much love behind the answer.


Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

#280041 - 03/19/09 01:42 PM Re: Pray-Away [Re: Still]
mapleleafsn Offline

Registered: 11/03/08
Posts: 131
Loc: Eastern Canada
For me Prayer is communicating with God. Expressing to Him what the situation is that I am facing at that time. I don't always have the right words to formulate the true meaning of my feelings, However I trust Jesus in his advice that it is not the choice or amount of words that I use, but the emotion that is stemming from my heart that God hears.

I do not feel that it is a one-way street that believers can just ask God for what they want in a form of a wish list for Santa Claus. I believe it is a two-way street and if I am starting a conversation by speaking to God, I need to also take the time to listen to His prompting of my heart as a response.

I have had several experiences of the one you described. Some members of my church have noticed or sensed that something was troubling me and suggested that I pray about it. I find listening to God's response is included when it is suggested to me that perhaps I should pray to God about what is troubling to me. I need to take the time to quiet my mind and listen for promptings from God. This can be the most difficult part.

If you feel that members of your congregation are just flippantly using "Spiritual Catch Phrases" to make themselves appear to be helpful, caring, compassionate, etc.. perhaps you would do well to go church shopping and find a parish or group of Christians that are more humble.

There have been times that well meaning church friends have made suggestions to me that I was just not in the frame of mind to accept. Just because someone else has not experienced the same type of hardships does not completely discount his or her attitude of compassion for their fellow brothers and sisters.

My 2cents worth


When the pain of remaining the same finally outweighs the pain of change---things will begin.... life is meant to be enjoyed not endured.

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