balance is something we allow to happen. once we give up trying to find it, it finds us.
sometimes zen answers can be annoying, because they don't shed light on 'how to' get there. but really that's the problem, there is no where to get.
beginning the recovery process is like steeping out of one canoe into another.
you begin to traverse the chapters of your life between pre and post disclosure admitting to yourself of the impact of the abuse how it shaped and formed the trajectory of your life, beginning with the influence it had on your brain chemistry from the moment of the initial experience onward.
then when you come to your senses, you soon discover the many ways it had derailed your full potential, and in the shift between those two worlds, the first one where there was a lot of energy spent trying to control things, and the second where you just learn to let go and let god, you end up tetter totting back and forth, in an effort to maintain the equilibrium that is disturbed by trying to shift weight from one world to the next.
balance is possible, but only after the need to seek it dissolves of its own accord. and that can only happen when one disinvests and loses the need to control it. once you are firmly situated in the other canoe, there is no need to raise or entertain the notion of imbalance.
that's what i have found to be true so far in my life,
Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC