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#220087 - 04/24/08 04:31 AM I don't understand!
Marinan Offline

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 330
Is it normal for a CSA
survivor to think that his family doesn't love
him because they don't sexually abuse

#220089 - 04/24/08 04:39 AM Re: I don't understand! [Re: Marinan]
Freedom49 Offline

Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State
Short answer...Yes.

When we are abused by family we can easily confuse that with love. Especially if it is the only contact and attention we get. When that is withdrawn and not replaced with heaalthy affection and approval and love then yes we can feel that we have lost the love that they were "expressing" to us before. We feel a sense of abandonment. This can cause us to want to rush back into the abusive situation. There are others on this site that will attest to this I am sure.

Thanks for the question. I hope this is not something you would be contemplating. If it is I would suggest you see a therapist right away before you do something dangerous and harmful to you.

#220094 - 04/24/08 04:46 AM Re: I don't understand! [Re: Freedom49]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 01/28/08
Posts: 2615
Loc: Central PA
I wasn't abused by any family members, buy I know I definitely have a strong connection in me between sex and love.

Those desires come up pretty quick when I start feeling very close to someone. Can be dangerous if you're not aware of it and the other person doesn't have your best interest in mind.

Can make you really vulnerable. It's good to surround yourself with some good support people that you really can trust to look out for you.

I agree with Roger, A good therapist is a very very good start!

#274269 - 02/07/09 04:44 AM Re: I don't understand! [Re: JustScott]
christianfather Offline

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 116
Loc: TN
I have always wondered why I felt this way. My best friend and are are closer than any brothers could be. He knows about all my abuse and has been there when all the memories started coming back. Bur in the back of my mind I felt because he hasn't tried to abuse me. I felt sick for feeling that way and feel like I'm not normal. He even understands why I feel that way.

#274950 - 02/12/09 07:00 PM Re: I don't understand! [Re: christianfather]
dusty42 Offline

Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Kentucky
Dusty has deleted this message. I no longer feel safe here.

Edited by dusty42 (03/18/09 05:58 PM)
Edit Reason: I don't feel safe here
Pinky: "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?"
The Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world."

#274970 - 02/12/09 10:54 PM Re: I don't understand! [Re: Marinan]
wes-b Offline

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada


it certainly is. My wounds left me with many irrational beliefs... not surprising with the unpredictable and irrational environment of abuse that a was raised within.

Day by day with the support of God and my fellows these irrational beliefs are being dissolved away and Love it flowing in.

Live well my Brothers and Sisters,


Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass


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