Newest Members
chairdesklamp, Bill Ohio USA, jez, Long Way Home, Bcbornleo
13595 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Brianna (32), Firewire (45), Floss1964 (54), gogo (47), Jake_t2398 (34)
Who's Online
3 registered (MeditativeCycler, anxietydepressio, 1 invisible), 33 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,595 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,715 Topics
493,841 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#27390 - 04/26/02 02:57 AM's the underwater basketweaving

I was born in 1946. Before therapy. Before political correctness. What happened to me began in 1958. Last physical sexual contact with my mother was in 1974. There was'nt anything like we have today to help me. None of this poetry,no story telling,no movies,books,no cameraderie with fellow victims,no internet. Nothing. There was only life or death. Find ways to live with it without communicating the situation to anyone else. I was fucking twelve years old. Sitting on my bed asking myself "What just happened? What just happened? What just happened?" for minutes at a time. I had to put on this act convincing the adults that everything was absolutely perfectly normal. Well I just turned 56 years old April first and I'm so tired of playing the game. I just donated half a million dollars to the Tustin Boys and Girls Club of America and there is'nt a single newspaper in Orange County,Calif that'll publish the story of what happened to me because it might be embarrassing for the populace. Could lower local property values. $500,000 and only silence. Tinfoil is beyond mere rage. I won't be fucked with anymore. This Thing ends now. Fuck their Hollywoodish bullshit. I'm from a different time. Call it "when men were men". That'll suffice. Tinfoil don't play that shit. I'm history and so's my half mil. Fuck'em. All I ever cared about was kids not having to go thru what I did.

#27391 - 04/26/02 05:37 PM Re:'s the underwater basketweaving
Thad Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 08/28/01
Posts: 1752
Loc: Oakland, CA
I know full well about the dark ages of therapy – my parents sent me to a shrink at age 7 (that would be 1950) at a famous clinic – and I went continuously for my entire childhood. During which I saw 6 or 7 shrinks in succession.

My mother told me it was because I stuttered, although I learned recently that I had tried to kill myself at age 7 (a fact not noted in my medical records) I learned to play mind games with them when they got done asking me about my dreams – now I have an aversion to therapists and react badly to any little therapy mannerisms – (although I finally trained one several years ago, to be himself – and he was able to help me recover the abuse memories which have made recovery possible (50 years later).

I have just returned from the NOMSV retreat where to my delight – I found the therapist/facilitators to be devoid of pretension and their work with us was so helpful – there is a new breed of therapists out there – who are rooted in their own recovery and have dedicated themselves to working with male sexual abuse survivors – a real improvement over the dark ages of psychiatric witchdoctors.

I am sorry to hear about the response you had from the Boys and Girls Club. Since I am a juvenile law attorney dealing with parents and kids in the system, many of whom experienced sexual abuse – I can think of a number of programs that are effectively trying to deal with sexual abuse on children – they understand the importance of addressing the massive amount of sexual abuse that is being done to children – most of it unrecognized and untreated – fostering more abuse as some of these victims end up acting out later in life.

I hope you do not give up on your recovery efforts or your desire to try to help other children. It is hard to overcome the anger I feel at the neglect and disregard (especially for male victims) that exists around us of people who just don't get it. I am determined to not let that interfere in my own recovery – and I know that there are others out there who do “get it” and can do some good.

"..this place isn't a discussion's a portal..." Lupin
"The truth will set you free, but first it will probably piss you off." dwf's AA sponsor.

#27392 - 04/26/02 09:18 PM Re:'s the underwater basketweaving
Broken Offline

Registered: 03/25/01
Posts: 273
Loc: Huntingtun Beach, CA, US
hey tinfoil, glad to see you decided to stay. Hope you got my post, (wait a minute) if that was what you were worrying about. I understand what your going through. I was in shrinks offices non stop since i was six years old, all any of them ever tried to do was fix things. I hated school shrinks, they were the enemy to me. They sold out science and reason and thier very humanity to the pta, and let me take the crossfire from thier ridiculous meddling in my miserable little life. But not every shrink is like that. The only real way to find a good shrink is to see if they have been there, if you know what i mean. Maybe not sexualy abused or raped, but somebody who has a real interest in helping people and can confront the truth about things like child abuse. Even if you dont like shrinks, you have to respect thier knowledge sometimes, because it really can help people, just like we respect the knowledge of doctors, but hate the miserable bastards for hoarding it over us and charging more than any one person can afford. You can use the process to your advantage, and it will help if you let it.

As for having half a million dollars, make that money work for you. Power isnt curropt in and of itself. I think you said it was property inheritance right? Half a million is enough to start a small not for profit charity of your own. You wouldnt even have to run it. I dont know what you want to do exactely with your property, but if you are willing to put some work into it, you could do a lot more good with that money than handing it over to a charity you dont really trust. The boys and girls club is kind of cool, but they dont really specialize in kids who have been abused, though i know a lot of kids who are tend to end up there. I had one right next to me when i was growing up, and im sorry to say that no matter how well intentioned they were, they never realized that less than a couple hundred yards from them there were a couple of herion addicts raising a sexually abused child.

It would be a lot of work to start your own charity, but it could have the potential to do a lot of good as well. I dont know, i am always giving advice nobody asked for, but its something to think about. I know a little bit about business, if you had some questions about where to start i might be able to help, but i dont know that much. Whatever you decide to do with what you have, remember its your decision, and just because its blood money doesnt mean you cant use it to do some good.

#27393 - 04/26/02 09:26 PM Re:'s the underwater basketweaving
Broken Offline

Registered: 03/25/01
Posts: 273
Loc: Huntingtun Beach, CA, US

where the hell did you hear about underwater basket weaving? that was an inside joke with my friends a long time ago. But we probably got it from a tv show, dont remember very well.

#27394 - 04/26/02 10:59 PM Re:'s the underwater basketweaving

All ends well. Just got this response from the head honcho. I apologize for going bonkers. You all seem like nice sorts except for the guy who posts he's happily screwing children who I suspect is from PEDOWATCH on a fishing expedition. Nobody could be THAT stupid. I've been delving into the darkest regions of humanity lately what with the politics of the judge Kline affair,Los Angelese Archdiocese,etc. The Diocese is playing with saying their pedo-priests became that way because they were themselves victims of childhood sexual abuse. So don't hire Nam vets because they've got PTSD and have uncontrollable compulsions to murder-at-will? The bullshit's getting so deep you need wings to stay above it. Mostly I'm pissed off because even my donation of half a million dollars to the Boys and Girls Club won't get me a short article in the Orange County Register. I've offered to leave my name and the name of my abuser out. Got zilch response. Who are these pissants who manufacture & deliver information to the populace wordages trimmed nicely? Child molestation is no gawdamn frigging video game. The afteraffects are horrific. The Thing should'nt be made-palatable. It ought to be delivered in Technicolor,wide screen.
We're not weak kneed out here. We can take the truth. But they won't let it be spoken.
Not even for a half million dollars. God help us.
Dear Mr. Tinfoil:

Thank you very much not only for your very important correspondence, but for your incredible support of Boys & Girls Clubs.

Everyone in Boys & Girls Club work shares your deep concern about the serious risks to our children posed by pedophiles and child predators. The safety and security of the young people entrusted every day to our care is the number one priority of every Boys & Girls Club leader. The current scandal involving religious leaders and sexual abuse has only served to heighten our vigilance and concern. As you so rightly point out, every organization that serves children is at-risk of being infiltrated by these sick individuals, who will stop at nothing to gain access to kids.

We have developed a number of partnerships, training curricula, and security programs over the last few years to help our Clubs, board leaders and staff understand the gravity of this risk, implement safeguards in hiring and supervision, and heighten awareness among all adults and kids about these risks, and how to minimize them. For example:

-- Several B&GCA programs, including Child Safety & Protection, Kids In Control, and Street Smart, teach Club members how to stay safe by being aware of risks and dangers, what constitutes inappropriate behavior by adults, how to refuse/avoid potential predators, and so forth.

-- We have a strong partnership with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC), which is the nation's leading agency in educating the public about child abuse, advocating for legislation and programs to prevent abuse and track down abusers, and finding missing and abused children.

-- In partnership with NCMEC, we have just introduced an important new security program developed for us by ChoicePoint, a company that provides screening and data services to many Fortune 500 companies. The Criminal Background Screening system provides unprecedented, state-of-the-art access to all major data bases, including the National Criminal File, all State Sexual Offender Registries, and the Social Security Number Verification database. These searches will only take a matter of days, as opposed to weeks or months, and the cost to our Clubs per search is only $3.50, as opposed to ten or twenty times that amount for the less thorough searches of the past.

-- B&GCA has developed a significant new management tool (unprecedented in the not-for-profit field), "Safe On All Sides: A 360-Degree Approach to Risk Management", which will be provided to all Clubs, and reinforced by training, which stresses the importance of screening and supervision of employees, and safety training for children.

-- This topic will also be a prominent item on the agenda of all B&GCA training conferences, continuously emphasizing and reinforcing the importance of keeping our children safe and secure.

I hope this gives you a sense of how important the safety of our children is to everyone in the Boys & Girls Clubs, and how committed we are to eternal vigilance in this regard. Thank you again for your important message, and for your faith in and support of Boys & Girls Clubs and our kids.

Best wishes,

Evan McElroy
Vice President, Marketing & Communications
Boys & Girls Clubs of America
1230 W. Peachtree St. NW
Atlanta, GA 30309-3447

This information was submitted from the Boys & Girls Club web site:

Name: Tinfoil

I recently willed my half-million dollars worth of North Tustin property
to the Tustin Boys & Girls Club thru attorney Victor Gorham. Handed the
original to Cliff Poulson. I did that because I lived thru childhood
molestation. Incest,parent/child in my case. I was born in 1946. What
steps,if any are being taken to keep pedophiles and "boylovers" from
accessing your clubs' children? Beyond a background check is there any
training as to what to look for? If not,you'll follow in the footsteps of
the Catholic Church. Bet on it. It's important to me.
With kind regards,

#27395 - 04/27/02 07:39 PM Re:'s the underwater basketweaving
getteddie Offline

Registered: 07/19/01
Posts: 226
Loc: Cub Hill, Md
I was just wondering why you can't spend the half mill...are you laid up in bed or locked up somewhere???...Just wondering...being poor all my life...the half mill just blows me away!!!..if you need help learning how to party away a half me!!!...there are peds at that boys and girls place..where else do they work???



#27396 - 04/28/02 12:02 AM Re:'s the underwater basketweaving

I don't have any social life. I gave up sex at age 38 in 1984. Whacking off is cheaper,does'nt involve the inevitable lawyers or pulling hairs from one's teeth. I don't have any kids and only one relative hoping I'll croak so as to inherite my money. I was thinking of leaving the monies to my eight cats whom I love dearly. But no,I'm gonna use it to help kids. I live miserably. Do all my shopping at Stater Brothers Market marked-down dented cans cart and the Food-4-Less in Mexican gang territory. Prices are much cheaper there because the other white people are scared away. When homeless people approach me saying "Have you found God?" I chase them across the parking lot waving a baseball bat yelling "Get a job,hippie".

#27397 - 04/28/02 01:59 AM Re:'s the underwater basketweaving

I live in the House of Usher. It's my parents' house,both dead long ago. The property's covered in 80' tall pine trees. I type this at my desk on the exact spot where my parents' bed once sat during the 1950s. Where mom waited till dad left the house then called me to her bed. Oh yes my dear Sir,there be ghosts. This huge bedroom with it's own lovely-tiled seperate bathroom,it's many walk-in closets and drawers is filled with cowbebs. And antiques. I am only now after all these many years have passed beginning to open the closests,the drawers and look inside. What I'm finding dates from 1856 thru the 1950s. Tens of thousands of dollars worth of beautifully preserved antiques. Remnants of Tinfoil's family going back generations. My bedroom,my desk is awash in them. They spill off my desk and cover the floor. Beautiful things. Wooden things,glass & crystal things,silver and gold things,Depression glass. From the ordinary to the extraordinary. Things from lives once lived from a family that became in 1958 only those airy illusions one sees above hot desert sands. I am in control now.
They are all dead and buried. And I have all their things. This is something. Not much,but it's something. Oh,I just found a bottle wrapped in silver. Websearched it.
Chinese Overlay Silver Decanter--ca 1900

Catalogue: Antiques: Decorative Art: Metals: Silver: Pre 1900: item #55686

Fine Chinese silver overlay decanter--Haig and Haig pinch bottle forms base for well crafted overlay of silver--marked--shoulder of bottle has three distinct designs--dragon--bamboo--pagoda--ca 1900--no condition problems--Chinese are known for their appreciation of form--had to do something with a old pinch bottle and they did--result a beautiful decanter-10.5 inches high and 3.5 inches wide at widest point

#27398 - 04/28/02 05:59 AM Re:'s the underwater basketweaving
Broken Offline

Registered: 03/25/01
Posts: 273
Loc: Huntingtun Beach, CA, US
I'm a little confused. Have you already donated everything, or are you still considering it?

What i was talking about was becoming an investor in a not for profit corperation. You could place some sort of advertisement and youd be flooded with responses by somebody who would want to head it up for you. The last thing you would have to be is socialble. Just make sure your lawyer makes sure you have the final say in what happens to it. (A cap on management saleries is a must)

It sucks to be isolated. If people were more noble i feel like i wouldnt be at such a loss trying to have faith in them. I get scared going out in public, just being in the light of day makes me nervous. My mom abused me too, and im still living with her. Im trying to get out right now. It's horrible, like a double life. I see her face and its like somebody who isnt really me is talking with her, smiling, asking her how her day was. I get little peeks at whats really happening sometimes, how she touches me, how she talks and treats me. Its hard to keep up appearances when i go to sleep wishing she was dead.

Try to remember the good things. The way i got through my life up until now was imagining a hell worse than my life, and picturing a hero who struggled past his surroundings and his pain, trancended them. I dont know how you deal with things, but try to remember thier are good things in life, even ours. There are good people, too, people worth trusting. There are parents who dont molest thier children, there are people who dont turn thier heads, people who stand up for whats right. Even though nobody is helping me now, even though i have to do this alone, i have faith in people, and i hope you can too.

I hope you feel better.

#27399 - 04/28/02 05:35 PM Re:'s the underwater basketweaving
michael Joseph Offline

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
Try having a father die and a friendly adult from the Big Brothers/Big Sisters progam hurts someone. Pedophiles are all over.

Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

#27400 - 04/28/02 06:51 PM Re:'s the underwater basketweaving
Jim C. Offline

Registered: 03/23/02
Posts: 63
Loc: New Mexico
Unfortunately, Tinfoil, Michael Joseph is right. Perhaps there will always be pedophiles and they do seem to be everywhere.

I wish someone could develop a way to really figure out who is or will become pedophiles. My first reaction would be to exterminate them--admittedly harsh--especially for those yet to committ crimes. Medical castration might come a close second and barring them from working with children and reporting where they live as per Megan's Law.

However, some appear to be normal everyday people, married with jobs, some professional in nature, seemingly well adjusted. Volunteering their time to help children in need of father-figures...hell, probably up for volunteer of the year! I should shut up now before I say something else damaging.

Altough I'm working on my MSW, I guess I could not consel perpetrators with my attitude, but that is my own bias.

Your desire to help children is admirable.

My opinion only: I wonder if something like thadd's program in Oakland for the girls or to help start one in San Francisco for the boys to help get prostituted children off the streets and give them a life might be better than the Boys and Girls Club, but it is your money and you must determine how to help others with it.

Jim C.

In all of time and space, there is but one you and one me...

#27401 - 04/28/02 08:24 PM Re:'s the underwater basketweaving

Well the Boys and Girls Clubs are pretty much meat & potatos stuff. Old fashioned tried and tested methods like the Boy Scouts of America. From what I saw touring the local facility it's almost corny. No New Age stuff,no experimentation,no whacko stuff. There are no doors in the facility. All rooms are open to viewing. There's no way to stop pedos if they don't have a rap sheet,no priors. If I were the Director of such a facility I'd watch the kids. If there's sexual interaction between staff and children it'll be reflected in the kids' behavior. I'm astounded that my school teachers did'nt pick up on in 1961 my first year of high school that something extraordinary was happening to me. For gawdsakes it was only OBVIOUS..!! That kind of behavior today would draw instant attention. At least I hope it would. There are probably other people that post here who've had the same experience. You wonder why the adults just stood there acting like braindead dumbshits while you're screaming "Hey guys,I'm getting fucked here. Hello? Anyone listening?"

Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.