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#273481 - 02/01/09 05:04 AM The end of my fast( Maybe triggers, but idk,)
one_day_at_a_time Offline
Member

Registered: 01/03/03
Posts: 42
Loc: North Carolina
So my fast ends tonight.

Well, it was not quite the traditional food fast, rather, it was something quite different.

It was a sexual purification fast. Ever since I came out to myself( I guess thats what Im calling it now-lol), I wanted to be sure that compulsion and lustfulness did not run rampant in my life as a bisexual/gay man. So I asked God for revelation about my sexuality, to show me that I could go a week without needing to satisfy myself physically, or even do anything to satisfy myself on a sexual level. But most importantly, to turn to him when the urges came and to know that he could stop them.

I wanted to be sure that this part of me was me, and not my abuse wanting to act out. And Im glad that I did.
I know that as a survivor of sexual abuse I cannot let all of my impulses control me because some of those impulses are drvien by the desire to be a victim. But Im not a victim anymore, and by the Grace of God I know that. So Im glad I made it. It certainly has been tough, but its been self-affirming.

I know from here on out what I want to do and how I want to be in my life as a gay/bisexual man.

MB

_________________________
I found God

now I just need to find myself

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#274502 - 02/09/09 01:27 AM Re: The end of my fast( Maybe triggers, but idk,) [Re: one_day_at_a_time]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/05/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Congratulations, that is a great step in starting your new life and working on the understanding of self and gratification. Good luck and know we are here to support you!

Michael


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