It is good to see you back...
I see Nathan questioned you. that ran thru my skull too.
When I look back at your posts, obsessive ain't I ;-), and I see you questioning yourself a lot and bouncing on an off. Oh well, if you say you belong here you belong here... Heck, I think you fit. I get the feeling that you are looking to an external to complete you and you keep "throwing yourself under the bus". I pray that you find your inner true self, the one that keeps trying to get you to look at him and nurture him.
My deepest prayer is for you to love yourself unconditionally, and that you find the forgiveness you need for healing yourself.
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)
Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny". My Story, 1st pass