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#272390 - 01/23/09 06:59 PM life after death...
1love4christ Offline

Registered: 12/18/08
Posts: 46
Loc: ca, usa
my cousin mario (rip)
My cousin mario died from this world just years ago. He was a kick back person and always welcomed people's company no matter what they're burden may have been. While I was in Nicaragua last year, I waited to see him each day but he could not be found. however, it was not until my last night in Nicaragua, he appeared walking. My cousin was a bum in nicaragua and lost weight. I almost did not recognize him in his bum form as he had changed since being deported from America.
My cousin Mario felt embarrassed about me seeing him in his form. Yet I told him how grateful I was to just see him alive and breathing without seeing him and not knowing how he was doing. I enjoyed his company yet before saying goodbye, I gave him my bible and shoes. He cried as he hugged me and I kissed him on his head telling him "he is nothing to fear, god can direct his paths and lead him to everlasting life but he has to have trust and faith." I said goodbye and dropped him off in one of the ugliest neighborhoods of nicaragua.
After coming back home from nicaragua, my brother tells me the sad news of my cousin mario passing. He either died or was killed by a fall into a ditch. When first hearing these words upon his death, I felt time stop and it did not seem real. I held back tears at first but let them completely out when I was alone with god. I cried and asked god to take care of him like nobody ever did.
therefore, I had the following dream after praying to god for his salvation...
(1st dream of my cousin mario) I was at my friends house and we were just leaving. however, I heard someone screaming from the bottom of the house as if they were dying. I told my friend about the weird scream but he just told me to not worry about it. it was sad though, I heard the next scream louder and with more pain. I reacted quickly and stuck my hands into the ground. when I reached into the ground, I felt hands and began to pull out a person from the ground. A person finally came out but I could not see them clearly since he was so dirty. therefore, I finally noticed it was my cousin mario and he was in his bum form. magically though, when he dusted himself off from being underground, his body changed completely where he gained back his normal weight and became absolutely clean when dusting himself off. within seconds, he went from being a bum to a normal and clean looking being. when I seen that it was mario, I began to cry and he told me exactly these words,
"I don't know what you just did for me, but I thank you"
after saying only this, he looked ahead of his path and walked away with a smile.
I cried knowing he was in good hands.
the next scene follows in the same dream...
the house which he was under was later abandoned and surrounded by police. when I attempted to go into the house, an officer at the front gate said that I could not enter and when I asked him why, he specifically said this, "it is not safe, it is haunted and possessed"
however, knowing my faith with god was beyond any other entity, I told the officer specifically...
"this is why i'm here, I'm here to bless the house."
and he asked, "how will you bless the house?"
I replied, "i'm going to bless the house by planting a garden of all kinds fruits and vegetables in the backyard"
therefore, as I walked through the house, I seen cops all over the place, but I continued walking to the back in end of the house. furthermore, the last thing I remember was being waist deep in mud planting all kinds of fruits in the backyard. '
I felt great to know my faith was beyond my own comprehension and how god takes care of all.
my cousin lives on til this day and god gave me this vision once again...
it was the night before my last ncaa track meet, and I was excited and feeling spiritual. however, before going to sleep, as I had my eyes closed, something very dark seemed to cross my eyes as I layed. to better explain this, although it was already dark with having my eyes closed, I saw something else darked cross my vision even though my eyes were closed. before becoming afraid, I said, "jesus christ, I know this is you because I only let you come this close to me" and I dreamt the following...
(2nd dream with my cousin mario)
I was in my backyard and looked over the other side of the fence. however, when I looked over the other side, I seen my cousin mario working underneath a car (one of his hobbies) and talking to somebody else. I could not believe my eyes and began to cry to see my couin in peace and happiness. I screamed out his name ..."MARIOOOO" but when I thought he heard me since I was so close to him (within a couple of feet), he just asked his friend if he heard someone call out his name. therefore, I screamed his name even more, but I could not direct his attention to me and he didn't know it was me. furthermore, he asked his friend, but his friend said he didn't here anything. mario repeated again " I believe someone called out my name" but he just continued working on the car. when I realized I was envisioning his peace in heaven with god, I cried and held my mouth closed with my hand and said "please god, don't let me wake up, I just want to see him happy just a little bit longer"...moments later though, I woke up and thanked god for such a blessing which was to just see my cousin in peace and happiness.
many things were just expressed about god and his kingdom along with how much faith a person can have. you will be amazed how much god can do by just working through you. you must first ask for all of his blessings and follow him also. most of all, through this experience with my cousin mario, it is god whom we must trust and maintain faith with always.
acts 24:15
"I have hope in god, which they themselves also accept, that there will be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and unjust"

as of recently, i've had a dream once again of seeing my cousin mario who passed away. he came to me and told me that everything will be alright. he also smiled and told me that the job i want so badly will be given to me. days later, i was accepted into the position i've been waiting so long for. not only that, after being accepted into the position, i've now been blessed to another promotion just within months for a position that could take years to obtain. the lord is great!

i share this with you because the question of god being involved in my life let alone the times of my abuse still lingers. therefore, when things like this happen, i am amazed to know that i do have god in my heart, in my life, and most of all, a relationship with jesus christ that ensures a permanent home with jesus in heaven. every time i have a dream, i am touched by god personally with his message being that he is still there for me each day and that i can't ever forget it. its relates to my recovery for all i want to do is be completely faithful of my lord jesus christ each day without missing a step.

thank you

Edited by 1love4christ (01/23/09 11:09 PM)

#272394 - 01/23/09 08:18 PM Re: life after death... [Re: 1love4christ]
joelRT Offline

Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Halelluia - my only question is how does this pertain to CSA and recovery?

My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

#272395 - 01/23/09 09:18 PM Re: life after death... [Re: joelRT]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
yes, to all: i notice that some of the posts that have appeared in this forum don't seem to relate to abuse, but more so to one's personal spiritual experience. i think it is good to remember that this is a website for survivors of male sexual abuse, and that what we share here be pertinent to that focus. otherwise, there are many other forums [even here the off topic forum] on the internet that could be used to share perspectives that are broader in nature regarding faith and belief systems.

please share with us your spiritual experiences as they are pertinent to your healing and recovery.

we all have our own religious/spiritual perspectives, and male survivor, to my knowledge, does not claim preference of one over another. as an international forum, we need remember that all perspectives are valid here, not merely those endemic to the western biblical perspective.

who are you in relation to the experience of your abuse?

that is what i need to know of people who participate here.

thanks for sharing your truth,


Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC


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