Thank you for this post - I really needed something like this right now.
I've been kind of beating myself up these last few days because I came face-to-face with a major issue that I believed I had resolved. Only to discover that there was still more to do.That left me reeling and a little uncertain as to my own judgement where my recovery is concerned.
But the saying NO thingy when and where it's appropriate? No longer a problem! I too was exactly the guy that you describe. It took for me getting major POd at the mess I was in for having taken on far too much, to finally admit defeat. I can't do everything nor can I be everything to everyone. Man, that was such a liberating revelation - the world did not depend on me so as to keep turning.
I resigned from a couple of positions almost immediately and I vowed to myself that I would never take on anything that did not feel right to me. Saying NO became rather easy to pronounce and slowly I began to get my life back.
That was fully ten years ago now and I haven't looked back since.
Your post gave me to take stock of where I am today as compared to where I've come from and it couldn't have come at a better time.
Sudenly, I like me again