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#270208 - 01/07/09 01:49 PM i need help!
feelthefunk Offline

Registered: 01/07/09
Posts: 1
just need some open minded people to talk to, I am so uncertain of my sexuality, heres the deal, Ive only ever had a few girlfriends and we never did anything,Ive never been serious enough with anyone to have sex, but i have loads of friends that are girls. I often fantasise of having relationships awith girls, and having sex. Heres the problem last year I started to find my 2 best friends attractive and their guys, weve always had an inside joke about being gay together. Then I really started to think about it, and found that I began to imagine having relationships and sex with guys aswell, anyone else go thorugh something similar? what am I?

Edited by feelthefunk (01/07/09 02:00 PM)

#270210 - 01/07/09 02:05 PM Re: i need help! [Re: feelthefunk]
nathan555 Offline

Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
you could be simply fantacising - allowing thoughts to develop

could it be an emotional attachment that is souring because of the jokes as its trendy to joke about?

you said you have had girlfriends - you might not have had sex because or morals or self restraint

try the same self restraint with your friend
and take care what you joke about

hope this helps


5 depending on God's grace gives hope
6 my dark side , my hurt inner being my struggle
8 looking to the day of overcomming

#270221 - 01/07/09 03:15 PM Re: i need help! [Re: feelthefunk]
joelRT Offline

Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada

Welcome to MS my friend. May you too find here the support and the understanding that you need. Most of us do!

In regards to your dilema there are no easy or simple answers. Sexuality is something that is very unique to each of us and for survivors of CSA our sexuality is often very confused. In this you are soooo not alone.

You've had girlfriends but did you have a true desire to have a sexual realationship with any of them and were simply held back due to issues caused by your CSA?

Are you Gay, Homosexual, Queer??? There is a difference between all three. Are you Heterosexual or only feel that you should be??

These are questions that will only answer themselves as you journey through your own unique recovery process. Once you start addressing the impacts of what was done to you as a child, once you look seriously at how those past events have shaped your ideas and attitiudes about sex you will begin to better know what sexuality fits you.

My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

#270226 - 01/07/09 04:01 PM Re: i need help! [Re: joelRT]
wes-b Offline

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada
Welcome to MS -feelthefunk-

Joel nails it that you are soooo not alone... I didn't have any clarity on my sexual identity until I was married for almost 20 years. It is soo common for CSA/incest survivors to struggle with sexual identity issues and only when I begin to heal and recover did my sexual identity begin to clarify.

I wish you much success on your journey.


Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass


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