I am Lewis. This is my home. I don't know why he does those things. I don't have a choice. I don't know why it is always. I don't know why he will use my hands like they are not mine. And uses my body like i am not real and it doesn't belong to me. I don't know if he thinks i'm real. I don't know where my mind goes, i don't know why i go so blank. I think maybe i'm not real, i can't be. I don't understand the things he does. I don't understand why he takes me. I don't know if he doesn't like me or if i'm not real. It makes me feel like i did something wrong. I don't understand what's happening or if it is right but he is allowed.