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#26837 - 08/12/05 03:48 AM Time for a vent
ForeverFighting Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1253
Loc: New Mexico, USA
How dare they, those perps who did this to us! I find myself sitting here getting more and more irritated--no, that's too kind--enraged, furious maybe. OK, so maybe my perp was SA, too. You know what? I don't care. Here we have how many hundreds of men who were used by selfish people who thought nothing of satisfying what? Their what? Need for control? Power? Desires--again, I don't care! They could have chosen to get help, to be better people, and most certainly to never, ever, EVER hurt a child.

These survivors, the men here that we're talking about were powerless children! We were boys minding our own business and these creeps completely flipped our brains upside down so we hadn't a clue what's right, what's real, who we're supposed to be. It only takes one time. The damage was done. And now, here we are how many years later trying to get back to where we were, the innocent person who decides for himself what and who he will become. Meanwhile, Mr. or Mrs. Perp goes about daily life like nothing happened?

I know this vent has been written many times before. And it's just I've read too many posts of my brothers wondering what happened, what memories are true, what feelings are normal, whether feeling this way is because this is who I am or because SA was done to me. And again I end with words that help nothing and they just make me sad. It wasn't fair.

I know, I know. Wallowing, blah, blah, blah. I just wish that someone, anyone, could go back and stop it for every man here.

OK, the rant is over. My heart is heavier, and I'll be fine. I care so much about every single person who has had to go through this or is going through this. Please know that it does get better. It's not fair, and we shouldn't have had to deal with such things as SA, but with time it does get better. The memories aren't so strong, the feelings (short of a good vent now and then) aren't so powerful and heavy. And the picture becomes clearer that no matter what those horrible people did to us, we can still decide what kind of men we want to be. If anything, the guys here have only become more caring and empathetic and we're better people than those perps could ever hope to be. Look at these men here, helping each other, encouraging each other, speaking the unspeakable so maybe one more boy will be saved from this. So the whole evil thing backfired, OK? The perps lost. And we will win.

_________________________
"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, nor will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

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#26838 - 08/12/05 04:50 AM Re: Time for a vent
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Mike, I love the stuff you post about the boy not being at fault n stuff, but we all carry it thru life.

The SA, was not so much as that what I thot as a kid, that I was diseased and a little whore boy, but I got to think why?

Maybe I never get over the damage that was done, maybe I do, I hope so, but it is impregnated in my mind because of mental abuse be my older brother.

I sure wanted him to look after his little brother, but somehow he never so much cared, and he said things like I go with men.

WTF, I get raped, and is this going with men?

I had enough of raping my innocence, so f*ck off, evil pervets, dont ever mmet me on my terms,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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