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#266772 - 12/12/08 10:16 PM Christmas traditions
MrEdd Offline

Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 340
Loc: Texas
A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated, Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Some Things are not problems to be solved, rather, they are facts which must be coped with over time.

#266792 - 12/13/08 12:10 AM Re: Christmas traditions [Re: MrEdd]
joelRT Offline

Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
I! F****ing! Love! it!
Thank you, as I'm trying to convinve myself to leave the house to go and buy a Merry F***in' Christmas Tree, this is perfect!!!

MrEdd, you are my new HERO!!! Please, marry me .........

My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

#266845 - 12/13/08 02:53 AM Re: Christmas traditions [Re: joelRT]
michael banks Offline

Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Mr Edd,

Thanks for the laught and making my holiday season brighter.



To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

#266850 - 12/13/08 03:19 AM Re: Christmas traditions [Re: michael banks]
user2007 Offline

Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 346
OMG! *laughing my ass out* That was awesome! lol

(wow, Santa has his bad days to...)

"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer

#266873 - 12/13/08 07:12 AM Re: Christmas traditions [Re: user2007]
petercorbett Offline

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2509
Hi, Edd, you've brightned up my morning, I got quite a kick out of it. Many thanks for it. On now here comes another of Pete's "war stories" But it might be offensive to some. Here goes. It was 40 years ago, just about at this time in Vietnam, that myself and a few of my budies found a tree twig, and we thought to make it our Christmas tree, so we take it and set it up in our break van, now of course there were no "real" Christmas decorations to be seen anywhere, so in the finest military tradition, you learn to improvise, and we did. Here's what we put on OUR TREE, 1 each specimen cup (for your poopoo), one each stale donut, and the item that damn near got me and my friends court martialed a condom filled with..... (well you can use your imagination), so our CO (commanding oficer) military speak, sees the tree and demands to know just who in the hell put up such a sacroligious (sp) tree, and we had just about one second to get rid of it, or else. We said to him never mind that here we are trying to kill each other, and we are supposed to show the proper respect for the season? He just gave us a sad look, and rest asured in that ONE SECOND we had the "tree" gone. Merry Christmas everyone. Heal Well My Friends/Brothers.
Pete (Irishmoose)

Edited by petercorbett (12/13/08 07:13 AM)
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.

#266874 - 12/13/08 08:17 AM Re: Christmas traditions [Re: MrEdd]
king tut Offline

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2488
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: MrEdd

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated, Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

Actually, that part, which was the given reason for the angel tradition, i heard on the Paul'o'Grady show the other day (yeah i havent got sky TV so i make do lol). have you seen that show, it's stupid but funny, and for some reason he always has a little dog with him that just stands there:



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