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#265119 - 12/04/08 04:21 AM New here
Matty Offline

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 7
Loc: US
Uh hi,

Um my name is Matty and I am new on this site. I don't know what to say or how to start um so hopefully this is okay. A friend of mine I confided in told me about this site so I am hoping it helps. So um I am not sure if I could be considered a survivor yet my abuse just ended about a month ago and that was because the guy (who was my neighbor) just up and moved (he told my parents his job transferred him but I am not sure what to believe). The person who abused me started when I was 10 (I just turned 17) so it's been going on a long time. I finally told a friend what happened, I guess it helped to talk to someone but she doesn't understand fully. I don't know how to process this, and I don't know if this sounds weird but like I feel oddly alone and abandoned now. I feel so confused on so much and I have days where I feel I will never figure it out or find the right path. All I want is to feel better, or at least try to find peace with all of this. I just... I just want this lonliness feeling to go away (if that makes sense).

So um yeah that is my story. I hope I posted in the right place.

Thank you,


#265120 - 12/04/08 04:27 AM Re: New here [Re: Matty]
lars3229 Offline

Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
It gets better, trust me. The first months, even the first year, are the hardest. My abuse ended 20 years ago, and even though I still have my down times (in a pretty bad one right now, just can't seem to shake the nightmares), I am surrounded by people who love me and care for me.
If you ever need to just chat, holler. I've talked with so many people over the years, I know how much being able to just "unload" can brighten the day.
God Bless,

You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

#265122 - 12/04/08 04:36 AM Re: New here [Re: lars3229]
joelRT Offline

Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Hi Matty,

Welcome to MS, and yes, you are in the right place. And if you're still alive once the abuse has ended that makes you a Survivor. So welcome amongst friends. You'll find a great bunch of guys here, who, unlike your female friend for as kind as she may be, "get it" when you speak.

Take your time, look around, read the posts and in very short order you'll begin to make connections with guys that you feel you can relate to.

My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

#265128 - 12/04/08 06:24 AM Re: New here [Re: joelRT]
TJ jeff Offline

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3554
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
welcome to MS Matty

I'm glad that you've found this site - yep, you are in the right place - and I hope that as time passes and you get to know some of us that it will help to ease the feelings of lonelyness and shame

Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

#265143 - 12/04/08 08:13 AM Re: New here [Re: Matty]
blueshift Offline

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
Glad u found us Matty. And, of course, sorry u need us. It will get better. I'm not going to say when, but how soon I'm sure has a lot to do with the work u put into it getting better.

Sometimes it takes a long time to notice things feeling less awful but one thing that can make it a lot better than it was quite fast is finding connection with others who have been through it and knowing you are not alone.

My Story
My Art

#265146 - 12/04/08 09:05 AM Re: New here [Re: blueshift]
jggab Offline

Registered: 07/29/08
Posts: 53
Loc: California
Welcome to Male Survivor. To echo what everyone has already said. . . you will find a lot of great people here (I know I have!). There is a lot of support and understanding. . . and yes, you are in the right place!

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. And if you are not sure "who" to ask. . . you will find that any of the Moderators are a wealth of information and can steer you in the right direction.

Again. . . welcome to Male Survivor!


#265150 - 12/04/08 09:22 AM Re: New here [Re: blueshift]
Little_E Offline
Member & Volunteer
Registered: 11/14/02
Posts: 169
Loc: London UK
Hi Matty,

Take your time little dude. Your not alone anymore. We are all hear to help support you and each other. You dont need to do this on your own.

Keep on rocking.

If your not livin on the edge your taking up to much space!


#265175 - 12/04/08 02:05 PM Re: New here [Re: Little_E]
potchoman Offline

Registered: 10/22/08
Posts: 18
Loc: colorado
Ditto with Little_e and everyone else. We are here and so are you.......welcome


#265181 - 12/04/08 03:04 PM Re: New here [Re: potchoman]
Matty Offline

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 7
Loc: US

Thank you for the welcome and support. Even though I still feel alone, in a way I don't feel so alone now... if that makes sense.


#265182 - 12/04/08 03:11 PM Re: New here [Re: Matty]
Barkabus Offline

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Hi Matty,

I am glad you found us. MS isn't perfect, well..after all it is full of guys just like you and just like me and we are far from perfect. We are hurting but more importantly, we are healing.

I relate to the story you shared. My second perp moved away when I was 17 too. He moved away because I shared a bit of his "secret" at work. He was my boss. Anyways what I shared alarmed him so much that he just picked up and left. It was no disclosure by any means but it was close enough I guess. And, even though I hated what he did for me, I felt responsible for him moving away so suddenly. I felt guilty. I felt loss. I was confused.

Matty, I don't know if you have felt any of those feelings concerning your abuser. Perhaps not but if you do, it is not unusual.

I hope you begin to find your path to healing here at MS Matty and I am glad you found us. Welcome!


My Story

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