tinfoil, i understand what you mean.
I cant get mad at my mom yet. It comes out wrong, like guilt. But i remember thinking, if somebody were to push me a little too hard, to fast, i would be bathing in blood. Sometimes i think about tearing out peoples jugular veins with my teeth, ripping out thier intestines with my bare hands.
But if you hold anger inside, it will kill you. It will drive the people closest to you away, force you to live alone, store up in your body until you get sick, sometimes even die. Chances are, if you have controlled your anger up until now, you wont snap. Just the oppisite, it will feel really good. It actually helps you get moving. It wont trap you if you dont let it. Using your anger instead of it using you is how you learn to have a life past whats happened to you.
Dont be afraid to feel, because thats what it means to be human. It has nothing to do with being a man, or being weak. Its life, pure and simple. Ask anybody here, they will tell you its a hell of a lot harder to feel than not too.
Listen to me. Other people, they take anger out on themselves, take it out on the world. I make speeches and plan for military conquest of Africa and South America. :rolleyes:
Meanwhile i have a driving test next thursday and an appointment with my therapist tommorow. Id make a great politicion, i guess. Just have a hard time living with myself until i could believe my own bull.
Thats it from this windbag.