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#262508 - 11/18/08 06:09 PM .
Niels Offline

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 196

Edited by Niels (12/10/08 08:02 AM)
Edit Reason: privacy-trust issues-post deleted
I live in my own little world - but that is OK! - They know me here.

#262514 - 11/18/08 06:47 PM Re: Are your Forum name and Chat Forum name the same? [Re: Niels]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Some of us have a social disability. Strangers are hard to trust. We have been badly hurt by "strangers" in the past and to find strangers in chat adds an extra burden to those who have a hard time relating to others. If we get to know someone in discussion and then they have a different name in chat, it is like getting a card in Monopoly that says, "Go directly home, do not pass go, do not collect $200, do not . . . do not . . . etc


pufferfish whistle

#262553 - 11/18/08 08:58 PM Re: Are your Forum name and Chat Forum name the same? [Re: pufferfish]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi Niels,

The software allows a user to pick separate names to use on the discussion board and chat software when they sign up. It does make it confusing at times if you can't remember who is who on both sides. Unfortunately, there's no way to change them after the registration is done so it's something the user has to live with from that point on. It takes a while, but you'll start putting name+name together and remembering who's who.


#262562 - 11/18/08 09:18 PM Re: Are your Forum name and Chat Forum name the same? [Re: EGL]
Pete2004 Offline

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 958
Loc: North Carolina
Hey Neils:

In the beginning of my visiting the site, I was terrified of the idea of being identified. It took me months to get comfortable here on the site just reading the items on the discussion board. When I visited the chat room, I didn't want to hide or be deceitful, so I used my name..... Pete and included the year I first visited 2004 so, I am Pete2004 in chat.

Eddie is correct, once one chooses a name, one can't go back and change it.

Hope this helps,


There is a destiny that makes us brothers;
No one goes his way alone;
What we send into the lives of others,
comes back into our own. (Edwin Markham)

#262566 - 11/18/08 09:28 PM Re: Are your Forum name and Chat Forum name the same? [Re: Pete2004]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Those who wish to may want to help Niels and others on the site out by specifying what their chat name and forum name is.

My name is the same for the forums and for chat.

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#262591 - 11/18/08 10:23 PM Re: Are your Forum name and Chat Forum name the same? [Re: WalkingSouth]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Good idea, John. I'm EGL in both places.


#262607 - 11/18/08 11:10 PM Re: Are your Forum name and Chat Forum name the same? [Re: EGL]
behindthewall Offline

Registered: 07/28/08
Posts: 126
Loc: US
my reasoning for choosing different names, was to provide an extra measure of security for myself. the majority of my abuse was at the hands of a well known "brotherhood" that was involved in satanism/nwo. since where i post is viewable to anyone, i didnt want to use my name.

#262608 - 11/18/08 11:16 PM Re: Are your Forum name and Chat Forum name the same? [Re: behindthewall]
michael banks Offline

Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Why my names are different is because I really didn't know what I was doing when i registered and now I can't change it.
Wish I could but have been told it is not posssible.


To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

#262618 - 11/18/08 11:50 PM Re: Are your Forum name and Chat Forum name the same? [Re: michael banks]
Nyjah Offline

Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 610
Mine is the same.

#262650 - 11/19/08 08:46 AM Re: Are your Forum name and Chat Forum name the same? [Re: Nyjah]
mike5 Offline

Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 171
Loc: Cleveland, OH
I'm mike5 on the forum and on the chat.

I rarely use the MaleSurvivor chat because of the names thing. When I came back from my first WoR, I went on the chat and talked with someone who's chat name didn't match his forum name. I didn't know who he was or that he had two identities, but he told me he was someone who had been at the same weekend. Turns out he had been at the weekend, but he was passing himself off as a third man who'd also been on the weekend. After a while he said "ha ha, just kidding, that's what we do here in chat." So I've been wary of the chat room.

Although we may feel fear and shame about showing up as ourselves, it is really important to be who we are. There is nothing wrong with me being me and you being you! Acting as if we are multiple people, either through overt deception or something apparently benign as multiple online identities, can have several consequences: a smaller, safer community that excludes those who don't know who is who, or a larger community with limited trust. If I have multiple identities, I can split my story and my self so nobody knows the whole me. Although this may serve some of us as individuals, none of it serves our recovery or our whole community.


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