Who knows whether this helps at all, but I've been married for 36 years. Never intended to marry, but the right person found me during my senior year in college. I'd been abused by a minister as a kid, and since the experience was so shameful to me, I rejected thoughts of being gay. Didn't know what I was other than defective, and I was determined not to mess up any other kids. Therefore, I wasn't getting married and I wasn't having any kids. My future wife talked me out of all that.
Four years ago, I finally told her that I was attracted to men. She was shocked, and we're still working through all of it. Our relationship now is stronger than ever, partly because I've never been unfaithful.
Would sex with a man be wonderful? Maybe, if I loved the man. I do have best friend who lives far away and knows the entire story. We are together (but platonic) once or twice a year for a day or two at a time, and those are the times when I feel the best. I can be honest. I can be myself. Not a single sentence needs to be edited. I love those days. The freedom and acceptance are wonderful.
I hope you find your way to a life that is fulfilling for you.