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#26215 - 12/07/02 01:08 AM Healthy Sexuality
Roy Offline

Registered: 08/02/02
Posts: 184
Loc: Los Angeles
I found this amongst some papers I was sorting through and thought I would share it with y'all. Many of us have struggled with sexual addiction and distorted views of sexuality. I remember finding this helpful and grounding when it came into my life. Let me know what you think.

Addictive Sexuality vs. Healthy Sexuality

Addictive sexuality feels shameful
Healthy sexuality adds to self-esteem.

Addictive sexuality is exploitive, stolen, or illegal.
Healthy sexuality has no victims.

Addictive sexuality compromises values.
Healthy sexuality deepens meaning.

Addictive sexuality draws on fear for excitement.
Healthy sexuality uses vulnerability for excitement.

Addictive sexuality reenacts childhood abuse.
Healthy sexuality cultivates a sense of being adult.

Addictive sexuality disconnects one from oneself.
Healthy sexuality furthers sense of self.

Addictive sexuality creates a world of unreality.
Healthy sexuality expands reality.

Addictive sexuality is self-destructive & dangerous.
Healthy sexuality relies on safety.

Addictive sexuality uses conquest or power.
Healthy sexuality is mutual and intimate.

Addictive sexuality is seductive.
Healthy sexuality takes responsibility for needs.

Addictive sexuality serves to medicate and kill pain.
Healthy sexuality may bring legitimate suffering.

Addictive sexuality is dishonest.
Healthy sexuality originates in integrity.

Addictive sexuality becomes routine.
Healthy sexuality presents challenges.

Addictive sexuality requires a double life.
Healthy sexuality integrates authentic parts of self.

Addictive sexuality is grim and joyless.
Healthy sexuality is fun and playful.

Addictive sexuality demands perfection.
Healthy sexuality rejoices in the variety of imperfection.

#26216 - 12/07/02 05:34 AM Re: Healthy Sexuality
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Thanks. This is a good one to print our and keep handy to refer to from time to time. There are things here that can become goals. All the healthy sexuality aspects.

I hope all is going well for you Roy. I always think that people in sunny California are in great health. The old myth of the beautiful people.

Take care.


If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

#26217 - 12/07/02 02:24 PM Re: Healthy Sexuality
guy43 Offline

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
Thanks Roy and all,

Ping, ping, ping... I never saw this before put in such contrast - addictive versus healthly sexuality. It's nice to know the alternatives to so many of my unhealthy sexuality addictions/behaviors/conditionings.

It is kinda wierd to me that I don't understand some of the healthy statements. I've lots of growing up emotionally and sexually(?)to do.


#26218 - 12/08/02 02:19 AM Re: Healthy Sexuality
Sleepy Offline

Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 288
Loc: Arizona, USA
I'm glad you hear you say:
It is kinda wierd to me that I don't understand some of the healthy statements. I've lots of growing up emotionally and sexually(?)to do.
At least this gives us a clue to where we are heading. Thanks Roy.

"It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end."
--Ursula K. Le Guin

"Mental health is a commitment to reality at all times."
--M. Scott Peck


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