I just sat down on the bed
and I coud barely stop from despising
myself as I just stared at him in my mind
and imagined having him.... but then I
realized, I didn't love him. I didn't want to
be with him, I just felt EXTREMELY DIRTY
and stupid and worthless, and I was trying
to stop thikning about having sex with
him, I didn't know what I was thinking
about, I was attracted, and then, I
orgasmed... This was when I had puberty
I cried for hours...
9:34 pm: I didn't even touch myself,
and I orgasmed thinking about a guy when
I'm heterosexual