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#261612 - 11/14/08 07:50 PM going to the gym...afraid
sunwolf Offline

Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 225
Loc: Indiana
I want to start going to a gym to workout, but i am afraid that that would trigger me again...I dont like people looking at my body and being around guys who I have the perception they are can I get rid of these feelings???

#261624 - 11/14/08 09:32 PM Re: going to the gym...afraid [Re: sunwolf]
theraven Offline

Registered: 11/08/08
Posts: 34
Loc: US of A
I don't know...
I'd like to know too.
I'm fearful in general (except when I feel invincible ?)
As I dig at the roots of my fears I hope to manage them better and more consistently. And then not be afraid anymore.
I have been trying to put myself in situations that frighten me, but that I know are really probably safe... I get triggered, but then later it seems less difficult to do.
I don't know.
This is probably not helpful.

The Peter Gabriel song Darkness is about confronting fear. It's worth a listen.

Here are the lyrics...they are of course copyright Peter Gabriel
and all props go to him:

"i'm scared of swimming in the sea
dark shapes moving under me
every fear i swallow makes me small
inconsequential things occur
alarms are triggered
memories stir
it's not the way it has to be

i'm afraid of what i do not know
i hate being undermined
i'm afraid i can be devil man
and i'm scared to be divine
don't mess with me my fuse is short
beneath this skin these fragments caught

when i allow it to be
there's no control over me
i have my fears
but they do not have me

walking through the undergrowth, to the house in the woods
the deeper i go, the darker it gets
i peer through the window
knock at the door
and the monster i was
so afraid of
lies curled up on the floor
is curled up on the floor just like a baby boy

i cry until i laugh

i'm afraid of being mothered
with my balls shut in the pen
i'm afraid of loving women
and i'm scared of loving men
flashbacks coming in every night
don't tell me everything's alright

when i allow it to be
it has no control over me
i own my fear
so it doesn't own me

walking through the undergrowth, to the house in the woods
the deeper i go, the darker it gets
i peer through the window
knock at the door
and the monster i was
so afraid of
lies curled up on the floor
is curled up on the floor just like a baby boy

i cry until i laugh "

I get a lot of strength from this tune

Maybe someone else will too

#261627 - 11/14/08 09:40 PM Re: going to the gym...afraid [Re: sunwolf]
joelRT Offline

Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Geez Sunwolf, I wish I knew. All I do know is that I couldn't do it - I'd either stand, stare and drool all over myself or find myself rooted to the spot due to overwhelming fear at finding myself in what to me feels like a dangerous all male environment.

I know in mind that that the gym is not a dangerous place, but in my heart? Little Joël says stay away at all costs.

My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

#261656 - 11/15/08 12:54 AM Re: going to the gym...afraid [Re: joelRT]
Niels Offline

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 196
It´s a tough one - do you have friend you can go with? If not - my intellectual response is not to allow anyone (Incl. myself) where I can go and how they make me feel. I go to the gym for myself - because I need it and it destresses me to work out and be in better shape. It gives me more selfconfidence when I feel stronger.
That been said I also feels it can be intimidating, to be around strong grunting men and be nude in the locker room. But like most of my fears I can overcome them, but it is always hardest in the beginning. When I have had a break from the gym, I found it hard to go back and my fear comes back - since I am not as strong when I quit going for a while. But I overcome it by pushing myself and repeating:

-I deserve to take care of myself and I will not let my fear control me.

-I am safe now and I can protect myself.

Repeating these positive affirmations helps me control my fear -
and makes me able to do what I want.

I live in my own little world - but that is OK! - They know me here.

#261665 - 11/15/08 01:39 AM Re: going to the gym...afraid [Re: sunwolf]
michaelmovies Offline

Registered: 11/06/08
Posts: 21
Loc: Long Beach, CA, USA
Dealing with similar problems ... I'm a big guy, don't often worry about them being stronger, but I feel really creaped out by a) the women that hang out at gyms trying to pick up guys and b) the guys that are grotesquely competitive.

I always find the whole atmosphere to be too sexualized, but doesn't matter ... I've joined again and I'm going to go anyway.

"Because the stars won't reach for us ..."


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