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#25928 - 08/20/05 12:20 PM Re: Personality disorder
TheHermit Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/06/05
Posts: 57
Loc: USA
1500 to 2000 pages? wow. I read alot too, not that much though, but usually non-fictional things. I like to learn as many facts as I can about any subjects that interest me. And I love philosophy. But if that's what keeps you happy, I say keep at it. I myself have an unhealthy addiction to online computer games, and especially when it comes to fantasy role playing games. That's how I waste my time \:\) Trying to cut down on that some if I can.

Yeah, I think we can get pretty addicted to fantasy things easily.

As for passive-aggression... yes i've been that way most of my life. That's why i'm trying to learn some assertiveness which can help me recognze my passive aggression, and replace it with healthy assertiveness. It makes you feel so much better to be able to speak your mind, and state your needs etc. instead of holding in your anger, then secretly getting even with others when they do you wrong.

I was also told once by a pdoc that I "may" be Bi-Polar, but not sure on that one or not though. It does seem that I get depressed for many months at a time, then all of a sudden I wanna get up and go, and get everything in life accomplished in one day. But any (inevitable) setbacks can send me into another depression. I have to maintain my motivations somehow. Anyhow, so much to work on, I just take it a little at a time. And escape reality regularly. \:\)

#25929 - 08/20/05 03:41 PM Re: Personality disorder
MurrayNYC Offline
Past President

Registered: 03/30/02
Posts: 142
Loc: New York
I trained at the Masterson Institute in New York where the focus is on the psychotherapy of personality disorders. There are some excellent readings about the schizoid personality disorder in their book: Disorders Of The Self: New Therapeutic Horizons: The Masterson Approach by Ralph Klein (Editor), James F. Masterson (Editor).

I have worked with individuals who have that personality type and I know the feelings you describe. I also know that fundamental character change is possible. Schizoid persons suffer greatly but hide it from public view. They are very motivated to change but, aside from fearing change, tend to feel that their situation is hopeless.

Early trauma, especially the betrayal of love and the experience of being used and manipulated and treated as an object to be exploited — all are common sources for the schizoid mantle that people have had to erect around themselves.

Don’t give up on therapy. Find a therapist who understands you and will help you work through the “defenses” you describe and their source.

Murray Schane

#25930 - 08/21/05 04:54 AM Re: Personality disorder
redman Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 9
Loc: UK
*Thinking out loud*

I'm aware that I am different from people around me. Very much so.

They are slaves to social swings, their lives revolve around other peoples opinions and the need to conform and get attention.

I despise this and seek the certainty that I can disappear and not be noticed, be invisible and continue my own life as I am happy being alone. Being noticed meant abuse by peers, sexual (by girls, age 12-14), physical (by boys, age 12-17) and verbal/emotional (girls, boys, teachers, ever present from age 5 until I withdrew from social life age 23, because my extreme introversion and relative naivety made me an easy target ever since infants school).

The main reason for wanting to understand the damage done is to be able to stop the anxiety and paranoia and be able to truly forget other people and leave them behind for ever. I admit this is an eccentric attitude, possibly unhealthy.

But at the end of the day I just want to throw it all in the bin and go back to my books. A harmless and enjoyable obsession.

#25931 - 08/22/05 02:20 PM Re: Personality disorder
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here

being different from people around you can arise just from being a survivor. Add to it we are MALE survivors, and there is a whole added stigma and bunch of issues thrown at us.

But I would strongly suggest to you not to self-diagnose. We can read any number of things and be PTSD, DID, shizophrenic, psychotic, sociopathic, and hell, even PMS!

Seriously. There are tests that doctors/psychiatrists can do to help define our issues and attitudes, as well as any 'disorders' we may have. We are not the appropriate ones to diagnose ourselves or each other.

Take good care of yourself.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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