I don't know if I started something good or bad. There have been a ton of post on forgiveness and forgiving since I wrote this.
I know that I need to forgive. Someone just did a post called "Forgive and you will be Forgiven"
Here are a few things that I said as a reply to that post:
I want to forgive. I need to forgive. But, there is something in me that can't forgive.
Now .... coming to today ..... when I approached the church about the situation .... seeking
help dealing with the S A's .... the church tells me " that it is my problem .... and I need to
deal with it." I thought that the church was supposed to show love and compassion. To be
a comfort in times of trouble.
Instead of the cycle STOPPING with Ted it continued. I continued to a third perp Tom. And
again ..... I got victimized.......
There is one person that I need to forgive and I am working on forgiving him. That person is myself. I have felt that there was something that I did to allow the events that happened to happen. I know it was not my fault. I can forgive John. But, and yes I need to,
I can't seem to be able to forgive others. If they showed some remorse for their sins maybe I would be able to, however, I saw Ted Friday night at the theater .... and given the chance Ted would rape me again. The same goes for Tom, given the chance he would rape me.
Maybe someday I will be able to forgive them. I am going to talk to my T about it.
I think that what it is is there are some things that are easier to forgive than others. If someone accidently kicks you under the kitchen table ... says they are sorry ... pretty easy thing to forgive. I think if any of my perps were to say they were sorry .... I might be able to forgive them. But when someone shown NO REMORSE .... then, how are you supposed to forgive them?
Wishing everyone the best,