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#25820 - 08/07/05 12:22 AM Abused As Baby By Mother. Anybody With Similar Circumstances?
tresheridas Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/05/05
Posts: 8
Loc: Utah
I'm relatively new to this discussion board (and discussion boards in general).

I have recently recovered memories of having been abused by my mother while I was a baby.

Many of the posts I'm seeing here are helpful to me, even though some are just flat heartbreaking.

I would, though, be particularly interested in hearing from someone who's had a similar experience to mine.

I know it's hard to think about the times when we were abused. There's another dimension to it when the abuse happens to you when you're too young to form memories of it - or, at least, too young to form memories that can be recovered the usual way.

I don't want this post to be too long, so I'm not going to explain now just how I can be sure that I was abused and that it was my mother who did it.

I'm just going to stop now, in the hope that someone will respond who's had a similar problem. If anybody's interested, I can give a full explanation later.

I never visit this board without feeling like I'm close to tears, but I know that's a part of recovery - and I've been working on recovery way to long to give up. Way too long.

I feel funny doing this. Never done anything like it before.

Anyway, here goes.

_________________________
Tres

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#25821 - 08/07/05 08:14 AM Re: Abused As Baby By Mother. Anybody With Similar Circumstances?
Ken Followell Offline
Past President

Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 992
Loc: Bradenton, FL
Tres, I was also abused at a very yuoung age and understand how it is possible to know that. I was abused by an uncle. You are not however, alone in being abused by a mother. I know others you were abused by their mothers as well.

Tears are not a bad thing, thing can get us ready for hope.

Ken

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

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#25822 - 08/08/05 02:42 AM Re: Abused As Baby By Mother. Anybody With Similar Circumstances?
Mr. Malaise Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/29/04
Posts: 22
Loc: New York
Tres,
I was sexually abused by my Grandmother. My mother's mother. I can remember her locking my two older sisters in the closet, lying me on the bed and opening my diapers. She abused me until the age of five, and of course it was all enabled by my mother. My mother knew what was going on. My mother would bring me back to grandma's house even after I told my mother that she shared me with a priest. My mother brought me back, kicking and screaming all the way, but she brought me back. I can't put into words the number of ways my grandmother shamed me.

My grandmother was also insanely violent. She would tip me out windows, wake me out of bed and chase me around her apartment with a knife, hold my head underwater, all to make sure I didn't tell anymore. Then at the age of five it all stopped. She stopped so that I would forget everything. And I did, for a while. But the memories have returned for me and my sisters. I was not by far her only victim. But I was her only BOY victim, so I got the worst.

There are other guys on the board who have had similar situations. You see them come through time to time.

Take Care,

John


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#25823 - 08/08/05 08:27 AM Re: Abused As Baby By Mother. Anybody With Similar Circumstances?
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
Tres - Welcome Tres!! My memories run back very early. I usually say from 5 yo and up but there are memories that are evenm earlier! This is not unusual nor rare. The fact that you experienced female perps as well as same-sex perps is also not rare...as moms, grandmoms, aunts, babysitters, teachers, etc. I'd be interested in how you experience the memories?

Howard

_________________________
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

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#25824 - 08/08/05 12:44 PM Re: Abused As Baby By Mother. Anybody With Similar Circumstances?
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
Me offended also by my mother, I do not know, what age it - that it begins. But it is difficult to deal with it being my mother. My father abused to me directly and my sister physical way, but my mother was one of sexual abusing to me. I am pleased, that you arrive here, I hope, that it - the help to you.

VN


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#25825 - 08/08/05 09:50 PM Re: Abused As Baby By Mother. Anybody With Similar Circumstances?
Thad Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/28/01
Posts: 1752
Loc: Oakland, CA
Tres,
my story is quite similar to yours. I was abused as an infant, probably 18 months or earlier until possibly 4 or 5 yrs - by my mother
I had no memory of it until I began to recover it with the help of EMDR - 50 years later.

It came as quite a shock - but totally explained the symptoms I experienced my whole life - Now I am doing a lot of therapy with a very experienced T, (a woman !!) and feel like I am making a lot of progress.

You are right, it is tough not to have thought-type memories on which to rely - I found that for me it was held in physical memory ie: skin sensations - muscle contraction,

I have been exploring some of the effects on developmental issues for trauma at such young age as well as the effects of it being done by a mother.

I can appreciate your reluctance about talking about how you recovered your memory since it was a real issue for me. How I could understand/believe what I recovered and how to pursue it further was difficult to resove.

I would be totally open to sharing with you here, or in personal message since I am sure our comparing notes will be helpful to both of us. I'm glad you posted - I know there are others out there like us - but I forget to ask

_________________________
"..this place isn't a discussion forum..it's a portal..." Lupin
"The truth will set you free, but first it will probably piss you off." dwf's AA sponsor.

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#25826 - 08/09/05 05:07 AM Re: Abused As Baby By Mother. Anybody With Similar Circumstances?
blueelectron9 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/07/02
Posts: 387
Loc: Victoria, BC Canada
I, too, was s* abused by my mother at about age four or so and on and on. I don't have too many clear memories, but the memories that I do have certainly validate my beliefs that I was s* abused. I was also physically and emotionally abused and neglected. It has created great harm in my ability to create relationships/friendships and just dealing with others in general. Therefore, I tend to just isolate and feel like I'm the only one in the world who didn't get a cookie when everyone else did.

That's why I come here, to hear about all the other men who didn't get cookies when everyone else did. It turns out that not everyone actually got a cookie but a slap in the face instead.

It's great to have a forum like this, but pains me to know the truth about why we're all here.

Peace with your healing,
Scotty

_________________________
An odd duck who likes even numbers.

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