I'm 52 years old and the oldest of six children: three boys and three girls. I grew up in an incestuous family. My college graduation present was finding out that my father had sex with my 11 month younger sister since she was a little girl. I remember the day when I got the call from my mother at my frat house. "Paul, I found out something terrible about your father, you need to come home so we can talk about it". At the therapists office, it was disclosed and I immediately recalled a repressed memory, "I was sleeping in my bed and heard a sound in the next room, I was a teenager, somewhere between 12 and 19 years old, I don't remember, I got out of bed and walked into the living room where I saw my sister on the couch and my father dry humping her. I remember thinking "Dad is fucking Susan". I blocked the memory out until that day in the therapists office. When my sister confronted my father in the office several days prior, his reaction was "it happened a long time ago" and got up abruptly and left the office. My mother immediately disowned him. Tears are coming down my cheeks right right now. For the next twenty years, I kept that secret stuffed inside me. My father died in 1984. I didn't attend my fathers funeral and I changed my legal name. I was and still am full of shame. I have a lot more to say later.

Still waters run deep