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#2551 - 08/04/03 10:52 AM Re: i've told her - everything
zadok1 Offline

Registered: 11/05/02
Posts: 188
Loc: Ohio
congrats on coming out. it will help you in the long run, believe it or not. i have learned the hard way that you'll never really connect as long as walls stand between the two of you. in fact tearing down the walls is a big part of recovery. it destroys the world of secrecy and lies that isolate you from the world around you, and finally allows you to step into life again.

obviously, i answered the pm before i read the board, but i believe there is still some things that might help in it.

you should call, and say what's in your heart. dont worry about what she thinks or feels, she'll tell you those things when she's good and ready. as i said, assigning feelings to others really closes down communication. it is a hard habbit to break, but it really helps to stop feeling for everyone, and just feel what YOU feel for yourself. let her own her feelings, and you own yours. it'll help, i promise.


The world is a dangerous place, not because of those that are evil, but because of those who do nothing about them- Albert Einstein

#2552 - 08/04/03 02:43 PM Re: i've told her - everything
Freedom Offline

Registered: 09/21/02
Posts: 164
Loc: US

Good for you. Now, just give it some time.

Ernie has it right, I think:

Be patient with her, don't make the mistake I did and shut her out. Tell her you love her, give yourself a chance to beable to hug her, if you can, answer her questions and she will have many.
Above all, don't hide, don't lie, tell it like it is, you have taken a giant step in your healing, she has just begun her journey in understanding.

But remember you asked her not to call you so you may want to call her and ask her how she is doing. Then take it from there.


Life is moving on. AM I?

#2553 - 08/04/03 11:36 PM Re: i've told her - everything
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1986
Loc: Flint, Michigan

Good for you for being honest and open. For sharing the feelings and the hurts.

You have asked her not to call, she is more likely than not, honoring the space you requested. You will need to call her, and do it. Send or hand her some flowers too, maybe with a little card that says 'thanks for listening'.

You have shared your feelings on your timeline, a bit faster than you originally intended, but when you felt it was right for you to let them out. Honor that with hers, she will share hers when she is ready.

Take care my brother,


Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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