The term feels right to me... I am not certain that I have a clean rational explanation.
** in short, my understanding is that non-physical acts that shame and damage the sexuality of a child is sexual abuse, and when it is done by a family member it is incest. The below the surface nature of my mother's message that I was to be a girl was what makes it covert. **
I use it since the message that I was expected to be a girl served to damage my sexual identity and confuse my sexuality. When this is added to being raped by my grandfather and incested by my cousin, two males using me as a girl; with a flavouring of my fathers message that women are objects of sexual gratification puts the bundle together;
"you were supposed to be a girl, you were used as a girl, and girls are supposed to be used for the gratification/purposes of men."
What a nasty collection.
~ slightly different layout to my PM to you and sunwolf.
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)
Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny". My Story, 1st pass