First he is straight which leaves me confused about why he hit on me
I find that the "straight" guys who hit on us are usually looking to get serviced. They aren't into having sex with
us as much as they want to get off by
us. Straight guys don't consider being serviced by Gay guys as a form of sex - it's like it doesn't really count, which is how they justify it to themselves.
Did he try to kiss you? Tell you how much he's been dying to make love to you? Tell you how curious he is about how it would feel to perform on a guy? Tell you how much he's looking forward to sleep in your arms the whole night through? What kind of friend is it whose respect for you includes taking advantage of you?
My landlord has pulled the same stunt on me a couple of times, always being carefull to mention his wife and kids in the bargain.
As for forgivness - you can forgive your perp wether he be dead or living on an other planet. You don't have to be able to talk to the guy face to face. Forgiveness happens in the heart and is often a very private occurence.
Forgiveness is an act of will. It is me willfully choosing to let go of any and all resentment, anger, fear and any desire for retribution: "I, Joel, forgive you Rita-Jean, for all of the lies and the pain that you have caused me and I do so because I have the power to so. I will not be like you, I will not be the cause of someone else's pain, and I set you free from any debt that you owe me." Along those lines you know?
I have found that trying to get around my issues is to take the long way in dealing. The harder thing would seam to be to face them head on so as to resolve them, BUT, once we tire of trying to get around, over or under, we finally come to the realisation that the only way to fix the mess we're in is to face it head on. You can't fix what you don't acknowledge, and you can't acknowledge what you're not looking at.
Your fellow journeyman,