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#25172 - 04/18/02 01:53 PM Re: Telling partners
James_dup1 Offline

Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
I've been sitting here reading all of this. I told my wife about 1 week ago. I never told her not becouse of they way I way worried she would re-act, I never told her becouse if I never said it outloud then I could keep hidding from it. She knew something had happened to me in my past that I didnt want to talk about, and she told me lots of times that I will never judge you for your past just your present. I guess it's not her judging Im worried about the most it's mine. But sence I have told her she has tried very hard to suport me and be there for me and understand the days that Im just a basket case. I just wanted to say this. Good luck to you and your wife. \:D

I have more issues than Rolling Stone!

#25173 - 04/18/02 11:33 PM Re: Telling partners
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
James, you've hit it on the head. Dont mention it and maybe you'll end up believing it never happened.
I tried for over 30 years and it just doesn't work, but we try. And in the lack of knowledge and awareness that surrounded us it was all we could do at the time.
At the risk of making a sweeping statement I think the girls have had a slightly easier time, the abuse of females has had far more publicity and understanding than male abuse so we haven't had any real examples to follow.
A favorite mantra of my bosses at meetings is "silence is assent" The words send shivers down my spine.
My view now is that silence is'nt an option, I know where it leads, as do so many others out there, but it has to be up to the individual to decide when to break the silence. A forum like this is a start, but saying the words "I was a victim of sexual abuse as a child" to my wife was the most powerful experience of my life.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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