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#251009 - 09/25/08 11:11 AM Re: Hello. [Re: Fissy Tsickens]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
ft, welcome!

i like your sense of humor

i'm glad you allowed your courage to prevail in deciding to become part of the male survivor forum family. don't worry about babbling, if coherency were a requirement, they would have kicked me out long time ago.

i am glad you are here saying what you need to say; that's the most important thing; doing what it takes to stay on course with your own healing and recovery which begins


i wish you all the best in your unfolding recovery journey.

your brother in recovery,


Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC

#251015 - 09/25/08 12:41 PM Re: Hello. [Re: Sans Logos]
Fissy Tsickens Offline

Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 466
Loc: Bassett, Virginia
Thank you ALL for the encouragement. Forced myself to go to work today, but don't feel like I'll be worth a dime. My wife keeps telling me to call the counselor. I don't know. So far, I don't really feel like it's helping. I sense true understanding and camaraderie here -- more than I've gotten from the past three months with my T. Maybe you guys are the people who will finally make me feel like I "fit."

Thanks again,


Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home Iíll never see

It may sound absurd...but donít be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but wonít you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
Itís not easy to be me

#251070 - 09/25/08 08:24 PM Re: Hello. [Re: frost]
Davesc Offline

Registered: 09/25/08
Posts: 67
Loc: NJ
Hi FT. I am now 57 and the shit has been hitting the fan for years. My wife found out the same thing and I even have a scary dream similar to yours that I have had since I was very small. You are not alone. I just signed on lat night and have found so many like myself. I have always felt alone in this. Oppressive sadness has been with me for a long time . I'm told this will pass with time and revelation . Finding myself is a struggle. I hope you find yourself in a safe place. Dave

Thankful Wor Kirkridge Alumni Oct 2008

#251413 - 09/27/08 02:01 PM Re: Hello. [Re: Davesc]
petercorbett Offline

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2509
Hi, FT. Welcome aboard for the emotional roller coaster ride of your life. I am now 69 yrs young, and the boy crying inside has finally came to the surface, there's no more trying to drown him in alcohol, there's no more trying to run away from myself and it's 55 yrs after the fact. I've been in a hell of a mess for the last 2 months since I came out with my secret. I had told my two (and only) closest friends about my secret via e-mail. I had asked for help in my dealing with my PTSD+55 yrs, I received a referral to the mental health people and told my therapist face to face about my CSA, in detail. That was the hard part, face to face. Since then I've had three therapy sessions, on the last one he invited my wife to come, I had told her just a few days previously about my CSA. Well my wife of 36 yrs was in disbelief, as why didn't I tell her before we married. Hell it wasn't even on the radar screen then, so now Iam trying to not only save this boy crying inside but my marriage too. But my first priority is this boy still crying inside. You are definately not alone, you have come to the right place, you can speak your mind, nobody will judge you, you will find understanding, compassion and love. This place is my home, these persons are my salvation and they are my brothers. Hang in there, Heal well my friend.

Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.

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