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#250868 - 09/24/08 12:29 PM Re: Despite everything, I hit the wall today! [Re: M3]
dark empathy Offline

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2667
Loc: durham, north england
I can deffinately understandn the teaching as trigger business, sinse all my abuse happened at secondary school, that's a very problematic area for me as well.

I like your idea about taking a laptop elsewhere. durham has plenty of places to work, and it is a stratogy i used to use, ----- especially for exam revision. I've never personally been able to listen to music while working, sinse I end up getting tied into following the music rather than concentrating on what I'm doing, ---- though I do know that's something my brother does.

thanks for the suggestion.

in fact Michael, i like your idea about working with survivers, sinse you seem very able to give practical suggestions to everyday recovery problems, which is really helpful.

thanks again,


#250938 - 09/24/08 11:32 PM Re: Despite everything, I hit the wall today! [Re: M3]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

I understand what you're saying, and I bet all of us have been in the place you talk about - and not once but many times. We do all the hard work and we still hit the wall. What's up with that?

What helps me when that happens is to look back and consider all the progress I have made. I might feel really bad at that moment, but those feelings don't cancel out what I have accomplished already, and usually I could look back and see I wasn't getting wiped out by the same things, or in the same way. I could see that I was doing things I had never dreamed would ever be possible, and I could see that I wasn't going into such a total meltdown like in the past.

It's also worth considering, Luke, that sometimes progress hurts, and sometimes we go through pain and drama that is actually leading us somewhere, though at the time all we can see is that we are hurting really bad.

I wish I could tell you I knew of some magical short-cut, but unfortunately that short-cut doesn't exist - or at least not in my experience. As my phrase goes, the only road past Crapville is the one through the town square.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#251019 - 09/25/08 01:38 PM Re: Despite everything, I hit the wall today! [Re: roadrunner]
dark empathy Offline

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2667
Loc: durham, north england
Hi Larry.

to be honest I find judging progress slightly difficult. all i can really say is that 'm in a better state than i was last christmas, ----- which isn't exactly saying much. on the other hand this isn't really a day i can be objective. i'm going for my first appointment with my T in two months this afternoon, and while i thought i was pretty fine about it, i woke up with the preverbial butterflies in the stomach.

It didn't help that I had a moderately nasty dream last night as well.

Of course, i know once i get started with my t things will probably be okay, ----- probably painful but okay, it's just like having a tooth pulled, necessary, hopefully better when it's over, but painful in the doing.

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