This post is overdue. The U.S. holiday season, extending from Thanksgiving thru New Year, triggers me in multiple ways & more than any other holidays.
Actually this year & last it started with 9-11 went on thru my October birthday & just kept on going.
Also, every year "the holiday season" music, trim & advertising (in July, for God's sake!?) begin earlier every year; thus, for me, so does the season itself, to some extent.
For most of my life starting the day I was born, each holiday has been more like a "hell-uva-day", especially in this "holiday season".
I know it relates to my SA, which is only magnified by what for many people are happy days. I do wonder if there isn't more to it than that.
Only in the last year & a half have I started to recall my SA memories clearly--but so far its mostly only the events, usually the people, but very rarely the setting. So whether some of my abuse incidents happened on holidays I don't know, tho I suspect yes.
Over Christmas my family & I will be spending a couple of days in Manhattan near my birthplace (which happens to be very close to Ground Zero). This is where all my abuse began, in infancy.
After my therapy breakthrough a few months ago, I thot this trip was something I wanted not needed to do. I was wrong. It's both. I've still got demons to face, and I think that's at least one major place & time to do it.
However I do not fear this; I look forward to it, and anticipate it being a therapeutic and even an enjoyable pilgrimage.
The same is true of this holiday season. Thanks to the therapy, my massages & chiropractic, meds, church, and most of all my very supportive & patient wife (for about 23 years) and daughters (for over 19 & 18 years).
Holidays have been at least increasingly bearable since they blessed my life, and there have been times I've actually enjoyed them for a while.
This year we all plan to enjoy the whole season and the whole of life as much as possible. With all the support I'm getting, including here, I know I can do it.
For this holiday season, one day at a time, each holiday will be not a hell-uva-day but a holy-day. That is after all what the word really means!
Happy Holy-Days to you all! Starting with a Happy Day of Thanks-giving (even in England, you "chaps" over there! :p