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#247059 - 08/28/08 05:48 PM I believe I came out last night
Letourski Offline

Registered: 03/16/08
Posts: 314
Loc: Canada
Hey Guys,

The last 3 days have been some of the most emotionally draining days of this past year. I decided this past Sunday to start seeing this great woman that I have been friends with and have had past relations with. I thought that this was how I was feeling. The next day I started feeling vulnerable and very edgy, then came a little voice that said listen to me you are a homosexual. This has been the theme of my thoughts for the last 9 months and I have talked about this with my T on many occasions. Most of my friends already knew I was having sexual ID issues, I came home and decided I no longer wanted to wrestle with the voice and I told my father that I am a homosexual. Of course he as always was very accepting and said you are who you are. I later told the girl I had been seeing and my best friend who happens to be a heterosexual male.

I imagined them dispelling me and being non-supportive of the whole thing. I actually felt like running away as far as I could. It seemed so much easier that way, them hating me would of made it simple to walk away from everything. But like I said this was not the case. I am not sure if I did the right thing but one thing is for sure I cannot continue to ignore that inner voice.

So am i really a homosexual? Truth is I have had attracttions on a varying scale to both sexes. I have considered where my place is in society and like everyone else I do not fit the stereotypical and narrow point of view of what the heterosexual community at large views a Gay man. Frankly I don't care at all about stereotypes, I just want a clear and concise of who Dan really is.

So today I am in this semi sedated state, don't really know where to go from here. Sexuality is a complex issue and I wonder if I will truly know who I am in that respect. Those I love support me for me. I believe I came out last night, don't know where I am headed and if gay/straight/bi will ever truly define the totality of my emerging sexuality. I did not want to use labels, that little voice wanted to be heard and so I gave it words. This is where I am now!

I am the warrior.

#247074 - 08/28/08 06:54 PM Re: I believe I came out last night [Re: Letourski]
kutcher Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Delaware

I am also new here and trying to find my way with my past abuse.

I appaud you and honor for you giving listening to your voice and letting others know the truth of your feelings. If everyone were simply that honest what a better place it would be.

Thank you for sharing this.

#247084 - 08/28/08 07:27 PM Re: I believe I came out last night [Re: kutcher]
LW1527 Offline

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
Same Sex Atraction seems to have a tangled web of emotions. Someone could be attracted to the same sex for many reasons. People shouldn't be labled gay or straight, but human. My only concern is picking up the lable before you had a chance to explore the reasons for same sex attraction.


#247091 - 08/28/08 07:36 PM Re: I believe I came out last night [Re: LW1527]
Barkabus Offline

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Someone could be attracted to the same sex for many reasons. People shouldn't be labled gay or straight, but human

Well said Lance. I have been struggling with this confusion for 30 years. I have fumbled with both the "gay" and "straight" labels but neither of them seem to fit so I have chosen not to label least for now. Some people take issue with this. I find it difficult to defend my reasoning with them. But that's OK. They don't have to understand and it isn't up to me to make them understand. Hell, I don't understand it myself.

Dan, I feel for you bud. I think a good many of us survivors do. Please don't feel like you must take on a label. I tried that a number of years ago and felt trapped by it. I'm probably not the one to be giving advice here. Perhaps you can be comforted by knowing you are not alone.


My Story

#247126 - 08/28/08 11:25 PM Re: I believe I came out last night [Re: Barkabus]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

My colleague on the ModTeam and good friend Dwayne/dewey2k has a great answer for you: "Labels are for cans." What he means by that is who cares whether you are straight or gay or bi. The important thing is to be true to yourself.

My own strategy on this is to say this: Ask yourself three questions about your sexuality:

1. Are you being honest wth yourself about your feelings and sexual desires?
2. Are you being honest and responsible with your partners?
3. Do you feel sexually fulfilled?

If you can genuinely say that the answer to all those questions is "yes", then hey, you're in good shape and it doesn't matter where you happen to be on the spectrum from straight to bi to gay. Most people are not entirely straight or entirely gay anyway, but have feelings, curiosities, and urges that place them somewhere in between.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)


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