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#24180 - 05/24/03 07:48 PM some random thoughts
sonlite Offline

Registered: 12/11/01
Posts: 100
Loc: North Carolina
just some random thoughts ...

1. The sun is FINALLY beginning to shine outside.

2. At the rock concert I went to last night w some church friends, I was bug-eyed-staring and lusting after so many women, like the one who completely unbuttoned her blouse and was wearing a black pushup bra.

3. I saw a lot of raw sexuality expressed last night at the concert and I hope to someday be able be that comfortable w my sexuality and to dance that seductively w someone.

4. I swam 1000 yds today at the YMCA.

5. I was sexually attracted to one man who might have been checking me out in the showers at at the Y. We made eye contact but I would look away.

6. I am just trying to accept that sometimes I have sexual desires towards a man w/out making a catastrophy about it.

7. I got a phone call today from a woman at my church inviting me to a cookout. I think she may like me bc she kept wanting to talk and talk. Women always seem to be persuing me and I should just accept and appreciate it, but instead it makes me uncomfortable ... like performance pressure.

8. I have to accept that I am cute. 2 or 3 women have told me I should be a model. (and NO I am not bragging) contrary, I feel like if I weren't cute and were just ordinary looking that maybe I wouldn't have been picked out by the priest.

9. It is my own statement of control over my body to choose to NOT workout at the gym to get the cover-boy abdominals and all. I only swim bc swimming is what I choose to do w my body damnit.

10. I was sexually abused so OF COURSE it makes sense that I am struggling w sexuality and trust.

#24181 - 05/24/03 11:57 PM Re: some random thoughts
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Nothing wrong with going bug eyed,
I still manage it at 49, but my wife keeps me in check most of the time :rolleyes:

Be proud of your looks and your physique, when you get to 49 it's a distant memory, that's if I had them in the first place.....

Go to the cookout, enjoy the company and see what happens.
You're in control now, not the abusers. What you describe there is perfectly normal stuff apparently


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#24182 - 05/25/03 02:26 AM Re: some random thoughts
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
It is my own statement of control over my body to choose to NOT workout at the gym to get the cover-boy abdominals and all. I only swim bc swimming is what I choose to do w my body damnit.
Way to go brother wolf. It is all about choices and power to put them in action.

You are well on your way. Enjoy your looks and your body cause they are tuly yours. And we all deserve every nice thing we can get.




#24183 - 05/25/03 02:35 AM Re: some random thoughts
Wuamei Offline

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...

I love your sharing of random thots. Really neat.


"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck


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