I agree with Bryan's observation that a lot of good work has been done here. No one should blame themselves for not knowing or doing this or that. Recovery is all about learning - about ourselves and others, and sometimes we just have to take it as it comes. It's great to see a thread like this where some initial tension turns into something genuinely positive with important results for everyone.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)