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#241416 - 07/31/08 12:34 AM And there is hope....
Tinman Offline

Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
When I first started facing my SA issues and joined an SIA group, I remember my sponsor telling me that I wouldn't really notice any changes for a year or two. I was so mad at him because I wanted it better NOW!

I have been active in my recovery for over three years now, in both therapy and the group. And I have to say, he was right. I didn't really notice the changes until about six months ago.

I wanted the pain gone NOW when I first started down this road. I thought I had the willpower to make it happen fast! After all, nobody was going to tell me that anything was going to slow me down.

Do not get me wrong. I still have very bad days. Sometimes I still feel like dying. But those days are fewer and farther between. Why? Because I worked at it. In the beginning my pain drove me. Then my anger drove me. And now, I drive me. Because I am getting better.

Yes, we went through hellish things no child should go through. And we have survived and I will tell you this: I promise, that if you work at it, you will get better. Because there is change in the wind and there is hope.

"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

#241423 - 07/31/08 01:18 AM Re: And there is hope.... [Re: Tinman]
Trucker51 Offline

Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
I spent nearly 5 years in individual counseling and 2 years in in-person support groups, over nearly 14 years, between the Fall of 1986 and the Spring of 2000. The progress that I made towards the end of that time, after I had been off of my drug-of-choice, was fairly rapid. During my first 18 months of therapy and my first few months in groups, I thought that I was making good progress that collapsed after my first wife found out, and it proved how much improvement that I needed in coping skills, and how much that I needed to continue with my support group. My CSA therapy was in addition to 3 trips to inpatient substance-abuse treatment and three more extended periods in out-patient groups. In May of 2000 I skook hands with everyone and walked out the door at my last group. Over the last 8 & 1/2 years I have held one job the entire time, and have bought and lived in a nice house for over 6 years now, and 27 months ago I met the woman who is now my 2nd wife. These days we are engaged in making plans for retirement, which is just 10-15 years away. These days our future together is almost entirely unhindered by my past.

Then I was diagnosed with a treatable terminal illness that I most likely got from a blood transfusion in 1987. Now I am on disability and an extended medical leave, and have lots of extra time on my hands. But my life is so much better now. Now I am back in therapy and on here to work on a few remaining issues, and if possible to help out and give others hope.

I've been there and I know how hard it can be. And somehow with a lot of help I finally got out of the personal hell that the first 42 years of my life was. My life is so much more in control these days, and I am so much happier, because my past is mostly ancient history now.

You can get there too, if you just stay with it. You want to discuss any issue feel free to PM me.


"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark


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