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#239366 - 07/21/08 07:30 PM Re: Another pill pusher [Re: cbfull]
inthegrass33 Offline
New Here

Registered: 07/31/07
Posts: 107
the first rule is, you do not talk about fight club.

#239392 - 07/21/08 09:20 PM Re: Another pill pusher [Re: inthegrass33]
dark empathy Offline

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2695
Loc: durham, north england
Craig, i'm taking 20 mg of citalopram a day myself. It doesn't stop the down periods or reduce the triggers, but it does let me come out of things much more easily. Stil, i'm thinking that in october or november I might try coming off it, after I've done some exercise and had a good few months more counceling, which actually really does help.

While I know there's no problem being on it, and I'm quite happy on it, I'd prefer to get to a point where I just don't have random down periods and can actually do something about my self isteme issues.

#239430 - 07/21/08 11:56 PM Re: Another pill pusher [Re: hogan_dawg]
Tinman Offline

Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
Originally Posted By: hogan_dawg
Tinman you said "I am not so sure I will take meds. I hate the idea. I have fought my T on this for two years."

Ok so it's a decision:

Take the meds, stop fighting with the therapist
Don't take the meds, continue fighting with the therapist
Don't take the meds, drop whoever insists you take meds, find one that lets you run your own show.
Take the meds, fight with the therapist anyway! \:\) Keep 'im on his toes.

Which is best for you?

The psychiatrist might have mentioned a rationale for taking the drugs. Perhaps referring back to that reason will be helpful? Then you can examine the reason for yourself and decide if it outweighs your feelings about drugs. If it doesn't take options 2 or 3.

I like this one! \:D

Thanks for all the input from everyone. Made the appointment today. Still not happy about it. Will report back on it, even it is as a zombie!

"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

#239491 - 07/22/08 12:33 PM Re: Another pill pusher [Re: Tinman]
cbfull Offline

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
I am a huge fan of any kind of systematic problem solving (I'm an engineer), I appreciate the way that was spelled out. Good job!

There is one thing I didn't mention (I didn't think of it until just now). I don't want to "fight with this" anymore. When I am not on antidepressants, I can't stand to be in a relationship. I am only happy if I am single. I tried going off one time in a very slow dose taper, and after about 3-4 months I suddenly noticed that I had been thinking a lot about how much happier I was when I was single. I was torn because I loved my partner very much but I was missing something.

I knew then I was going about it wrong. I have also recently noticed that I find myself looking forward to spending more time getting to know and understand my partner. When on 20mg, I was always sort of "mostly in, but keeping a crack in the door just big enough for my foot". Does that make any sense?

My theory is that I wanted the freedom to be able to act out and live my life detached when I am single and not on the SSRI. This of course included a lot of experimentation with various pharmaceutical highs. I am by no means hypersexual but with the help of a tiny amount of deprenyl (l-selegeline) my brain keeps extra dopamine around, and that keeps my motivation and my sex drive alive.

If you want to ask me about deprenyl please do, there are some serious risks at higher dosages, like a dose for someone who has Parkinson's, but it takes less than a tenth of that dosage to counter many of the side effects of the SSRI. Something drug companies probably wouldn't want you to know, and that's another bonus!(Ha-ha)



Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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