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#238168 - 07/15/08 12:34 AM Overwhelmed by all this
Tinman Offline

Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
I have been reading a lot here lately. And I so much want to help and contribute. But I feel kind of paralyzed.

I know what happened to me. I know what happened to those in the SIA group I attended.

But to see the sheer numbers here and all the pain/suffering/tiredness/victories/discoveries makes me feel like I have nothing to contribute. That's crazy, I know. Because I have made great strides in my recovery. But my mind is reeling from just how pervasive this all is. It was easier when it was just me and a few people in a group. I guess I was pretty naive to think it was just a small percentage of us.

I apologize for my reaction and hope I can get past it to contribute to you as much as you have given me.

"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

#238172 - 07/15/08 12:45 AM Re: Overwhelmed by all this [Re: Tinman]
CDavid Offline

Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
Each time you post, Tinman, you offer an opportunity for someone to speak up, respond. Your posts are great!

Thank you,


#238173 - 07/15/08 12:45 AM Re: Overwhelmed by all this [Re: Tinman]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA

Just grab a shovel and start filling sandbags with us.

Yes it can be pretty overwhelming if you look at the mountain of sand that has to be moved.

But... just one shovelfull at a time will make a lot of progres.

Actually I haven't been here that long but it looks like many have come here in the past and then began to do better and departed. Then new waves of wounded appear.


#238185 - 07/15/08 01:25 AM Re: Overwhelmed by all this [Re: pufferfish]
Syntaxed Offline

Registered: 07/12/06
Posts: 54
Loc: St Louis, MO
Originally Posted By: pufferfish
Actually I haven't been here that long but it looks like many have come here in the past and then began to do better and departed. Then new waves of wounded appear.

Actually, I found this forum two years ago when my life fell apart and I realized the full scope of my wounds. I posted a few times, got caring responses that helped me see that I was not alone and that a lot of the things in my life that I'd attributed to me being a "loser" were shared by others who'd walked in my shoes.

Like you, Tinman, I eventually became overwhelmed at the sheer pain present here and had to stop for awhile. I really wish I hadn't. Recently, I found myself deeper than I'd been two years ago and I found my way back to MaleSurvivor, reading the pain again and realizing that I am still not alone.

As an adult, I have had a terrible time making or keeping friends, because they can never know or understand the "real" me. Here, everyone can know the real me, and if I can summon the courage, I might be able to find a friend or two who can really understand the pain in my heart.

We need to know we're brothers.

At present: 1 step forward, 3 steps back.

#238187 - 07/15/08 01:38 AM Re: Overwhelmed by all this [Re: Syntaxed]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi Tinman,

In the few years I've been here, I've seen people come in and some stay a while and some drift right back off the radar. I think a lot of it is because guys have to get to a certain point to where they see that life isn't really working anymore (well, it wasn't really working before, but now it REALLY isn't working). I think guys have to get to a certain point to where they're finally ready to deal with it. Maybe the ones who drift off have found some other avenue to their healing or they decided that MS just isn't a good fit for them. Or maybe it's all just too much pain to handle. I think it's all so varied from one person to the next.

I think you're helping by just being here, talking, and working on things. Others who are just now walking through the door are seeing your example and are being encouraged by it. So you're doing the right thing.


#238191 - 07/15/08 01:48 AM Re: Overwhelmed by all this [Re: EGL]
Barkabus Offline

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Hey Tinman,

We're right there with you bro. And you are right here with us.

Sometimes that alone is enough to bring someone encouragement or just to alleviate the loneliness a bit. You don't have to post some profound new truth that will give everyone brand new insight into the depths of our SA and recovery to contribute here. Thanks for being here Tinman.

Thank you for sharing your journey with us.


My Story

#238266 - 07/15/08 11:43 AM Re: Overwhelmed by all this [Re: Barkabus]
LW1527 Offline

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
Tinman - I understand. We've all been there. Don't quit on yourself. When we say we are here for you, we mean it.

#238302 - 07/15/08 03:33 PM Re: Overwhelmed by all this [Re: Tinman]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
tinman! it's way more than anyone can handle on their own! that's why male survivor is here and whey we are here. for each other. to help edify, transform and unite, and to learn to trust.

that's my opinion and i'm sticking to it

your brother in recovery


Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

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