I keep of thinking of this book for you.
This is John Bradshaw on The Family
I frankly have not read it but I have listened to the tapes. There are apparently used copies in very good condition for $1.44 plus $3.98 S&H. I notice the tapes now are going for $55 per set. Maybe I should sell mine. I really gained insight from the tapes. I think I will make a point to read the book now.
I can kind of formulate what Bradshaw would say to you out of my memory. If you can't get the book I'll try to do this.
Bradshaw has written several books, all of which are apparently helpful. It is easy to find these on Amazon.com.
This book will give you valuable insight into the structure of your family. My family of origin was kind of crazy also, but maybe not as much so as yours, I don't know. Anyway, healing comes block by block as you answer these questions for yourself. Insight is the key to freedom.
Another good book, taking the same subject from a slightly different angle is:Secrets of Youf Family Tree
, by Cloud et al.http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Your-Famil...16099115&sr=1-1
I have this book also but have not read it yet (I had a reading problem as a kid growing up, so my reading speed is still not up to snuff). I have listened to this guy a lot on the radio. This book gets 5 star review on Amazon