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#237629 - 07/12/08 11:10 AM Weekend of Recovery
Syntaxed Offline

Registered: 07/12/06
Posts: 54
Loc: St Louis, MO
I've been thinking of going to the weekend of recovery in pennsyvania later this year and was wondering if anyone who's gone would care to share their experience with me?

At present: 1 step forward, 3 steps back.

#237648 - 07/12/08 02:26 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: Syntaxed]
CDavid Offline

Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
It's going to be difficult to get a truly objective response on this particular issue since negative experiences are generally deleted.

Good luck though...


#237654 - 07/12/08 03:01 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: CDavid]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Originally Posted By: CDavid
...negative experiences are generally deleted.

I'm not sure what you're basing this statement on, but I've never seen anyone's negative experiences with WORs deleted here.

Syntaxed, I've heard great things about the WORs from a lot of men who have participated in them. I've also heard of some who didn't get out of it what they were expecting. So, like pretty much anything in life, it may work great for you and it may not. But on the whole, it seems to be a really healing experience for most who attend. I'm sure others will be along here shortly to tell you of their particular experiences there. Good luck.


#237681 - 07/12/08 06:14 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: EGL]
frost Offline

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?

Good for you for considering taking this step!

Eddie had some wise words that there have indeed been occasional instances of men finding the WoR program not to their liking. I am not sure what CDavid is referring to because I've been here a while and generally watch the WoR threads pretty close and I've never witnessed anything like what he describes.

Never the less, I thought I'd chime in and share an excerpt of a larger article I wrote. This blurb had to do specifically with the WoR I attended last September.

Like I say in the excerpt, it was a life changing experience and absolutely for the best. I hope for you too that if you have the opportunity to go that you will sign up... I highly doubt you'd regret it!

Weekends of Recovery
A major turn of events and a massive overhaul of my thinking happened. I had finally decided somewhere in there that I was worth healing. Quite uncharacteristically for me, I took a giant leap of faith and signed up for the September 2007 Alta, Utah Weekend of Recovery. In the sign up process, I had the honour of speaking to Howard Fradkin, and was blown away at how supportive he was on the phone. Howard had such a calming effect on my nerves over the phone, and while I was terrified about signing up, he helped me find a certain peace about it.

The drive to the retreat for me was just less than 1,800 kilometers (1,100 miles). I left the borders of my country, for the first time in years, and found myself traveling through three states before the end of my first day of travel. The entire time I was really truly wondering what the heck I was doing. The second day of travel brought me into Salt Lake City, Utah and this was nothing short of panic for me. I spent this day thinking about how truly crazy I must be. The morning of September 14, 2007 I finally drove the last leg of the trip and found myself at Alta.

Thank goodness the weekend kicked off with an afternoon of establishing trust. Having 20 years experience in hiding and silence, it was a bizarre moment to be sitting in a room with a handful of guys who, myself included, were all there because they had been sexually abused. By the end of the afternoon, however, it was more comfortable than bizarre. I learned a great deal about trust that day. Trust - such a simple five-letter word yet such a complex meaning for an abuse survivor. I think it's safe to say many of the guys in the room were trusting people for the first time in a very long time. It was not only special to see, but amazing to experience.

The weekend as a whole was not easy for me. I was continually and gently asked to leave my comfort zone behind and participate in the activities available. I am still not sure how, but I felt safe enough to push myself and participate in almost everything that was offered. Come to think of it, that mantra, "I drove over sixteen hours to be here, so I might as well..." kept coming to mind. I think I also just really needed to see something positive come out of the experience as a whole. By only the second day, I had so many unmistakably positive things to think about that I actually got seriously overwhelmed trying to process everything.

I can now look back and say the weekend was easily the most amazing experience of my life. There is something different about connecting with other men who have been sexually abused. There is so much 'context' involved in sexual abuse that just doesn't need to be explained or sorted out between two or more male survivors - instead, it is understood and validated in such an environment as the Weekend of Recovery provides.

Since the weekend, communicating with friends I met at the retreat has been a true blessing in my life. Usually it's an e-mail or private message. Occasionally, it's a phone call. A few times it has been a Christmas card. Whatever it may be it always serves as a reminder that I'm not alone and that there are people out there who understand me on a very deep level. It's a good feeling, and we all know we could use more of those in our lives!

Wishing you the best with your decision making process Syntaxed! If you have any questions feel free to shoot me a PM.



#237779 - 07/13/08 03:20 AM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: frost]
thecoopstah Offline

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
I went on a retreat about a year and a 1/2 ago out in san francisco in four springs california./i had a great time in that i left the re-treat with one thing i not at all comfortable of "touch" yet i was however able to see "touch" for what it is....i learned on the re-treat that " not all people and "touch are negative"

Wor weekends are the best thing someone who is a survivor to go through will NOT regret it.Very healing for me.........BIG TIME


" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

#237787 - 07/13/08 03:42 AM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: thecoopstah]
Dewey2k Offline

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
I'm not sure what CDavid is talking about either. The weekends are geared to create a safe and healthy environment so we can take risks to work on our healing. I've been to four weekends and they are, without a doubt, life-changing in a good way. It's intense, and can be difficult emotionally, but they are absolutely worth it.

I recommend it to anyone.

#237792 - 07/13/08 04:08 AM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: Syntaxed]
Gerald2007 Offline

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 157
Loc: Southeastern US

I went to the Weekend of Recovery in May. It is a transformative and healing experience. Is it hardwork? Yes, but that's what recovery is all about.

At the WoR you will meet other guys who are also survivors. Your safety and providing a safe environemnt for recovery work is the uppermost concern of the professions who facilitate the event. These therapists are all sincere, competent, and generous people.

I hope you go.

Take care,

Edited by gcp2007 (07/13/08 04:09 AM)
Alumnus: Weekend of Recovery - Dahlonega, May 2008 and May 2009
We are bound together by the pain of the past and our hopes for the future.


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