Newest Members
RickyEurope, Tellurye, Jessemccoll, Jluke1s, NobodyCT
13268 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Bossman (63), DMCarrollG (37), helpme (50)
Who's Online
0 registered (), 52 Guests and 7 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,268 Registered Members
75 Forums
68,773 Topics
478,666 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Topic Options
#237429 - 07/11/08 09:26 AM Finally Anger
LW1527 Offline

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
I didn't think this would ever happen. I never wanted to be angry and my abusers, but I woke up this morning and I felt anger at my dad. Wow, maybe not a big deal, but for me, a huge step. Even though he is dead, I wrote him a letter last night. It wasn't an angry letter, but I told him how I felt. Stupid thing is I started out telling him I was sorry for breaking the silence. Half way through the letter I realized that everyone knew about the incest which is why mom took to booze and wouldn't say anything but, "Well, there were problems." I always knew that my older sister was part of his lust fest because they had an odd closness that left my mom and I out of the picture a lot. However, she hated being touched by men. Red flag? Duh! Thanks to my MS family for your help. ***INCEST*** I still cringe inside when I say it, but at least I am saying it. It feels like a thousand scratches inside my chest and someone pours lemon juice on it. It hurts! Odd, I thought that I would feel weak by talking about the incest, but I feel more powerful and my anger is directed away from the world to people responsible.

#237434 - 07/11/08 09:42 AM Re: Finally Anger [Re: LW1527]
BJK Offline

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
This is very good, and it is a very huge step. Might I suggest writing another letter to your father expressing your anger?

I also strongly urge you to re-examine your relationship with your mother. It sounds to me like there is justified anger there as well.


Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

#237447 - 07/11/08 10:17 AM Re: Finally Anger [Re: LW1527]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5793
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...

AMEN! now, on to pondering the other stages of the grieving process. wow! progress! justification!

Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC
  1. the past
  2. advocacy

#237488 - 07/11/08 12:57 PM Re: Finally Anger [Re: Sans Logos]
LW1527 Offline

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
Great ideas. I'll work on more letters over the weekend. You're right about my mom. After my dad died, I would yell and sometimes scream at my mother for some sort of emotional response. She would just sit there and not say anything and stare off. I would try to talk to her and she would not answer or change the subject. Once my aunt told me that my family had a very dark side to it, but she never told me why. Thanks, guys, for the advice.

#237499 - 07/11/08 01:48 PM Re: Finally Anger [Re: LW1527]
hogan_dawg Offline

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
LW it happened to me too. It's a profound realization.

Feel free to PM.

I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

#237536 - 07/11/08 05:09 PM Re: Finally Anger [Re: LW1527]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Yes, it really sounds like you are making progress through the stages of grief.

Not fun. Very painful. But you are moving.

You are getting a more objective impression of things.

I say that this is a good step for your healing progress.



Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.