Newest Members
jake1985, cactus8, Neil Benesh, blazzeee, mmm coffee
13531 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
isol8er (46), omrfople (41), zookeeper (54)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 48 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,531 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,387 Topics
491,554 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#23682 - 10/17/03 06:38 AM Been awhile
bowman Offline

Registered: 04/19/03
Posts: 72
Hello all,
I haven't been here for a while, partly been moping and feeling sorry for myself, partly busy trying to build more relationships out in the world.

Fortunately, welbutrin seems to have stabilized the depression, which is a huge relief, and helps me to be more balanced, even when things get rough.

Mostly I have a lot of emotional pain about being abused by my father when I was pretty young. Sometimes I can't stand the thoughts in my head, and I still feel like I am the lowlife, even though I 'know' that's not true.

Also, I am still afraid enough to leave a light on at night, and sleep in my clothes. But I am sleeping at least six hours a night, which is seriously a blessing.

I really appreciate the support that is here.

Take care,

#23683 - 10/17/03 12:19 PM Re: Been awhile
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Glad to see you back. I am taking Wellbutrin also mixed with Effexor. I guess I am a pharmacy! \:D

I too slept with the light on. But then I got a bid stuffed animal and that seem to take care of sleeping. He was my demon slayer. Now I enjoy the warmth of my wife next to me.

If only I could stop having to go to the bathroom 3 times a night. Wh well the joys of growing old.



#23684 - 10/18/03 05:11 AM Re: Been awhile
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi Ken,

I'm saddened that you still have the problems around sleep.

I found Wellbutrin to be the miracle drug for me. I take that and Klonipin daily. But, we are all so different that others have said the Wellbutrin did not work for them at all.

I do not keep a light on in my room at night, but I have situated my room so that lights from outside make my room rather bright once me eyes adjust at night.

Our ways of coping are also really different. After I was raped I would go to my tent and crawl in my sleeping bag with all my clothes on. So, now, I sleep with nothing on.That feels better for me. When I have to us pajama's I just am not comfortable--it makes me remember things I don't want to think about.

Much peace to you Ken. It will keep getting better, even if all too slowly.


If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

#23685 - 10/18/03 06:51 AM Re: Been awhile
bowman Offline

Registered: 04/19/03
Posts: 72
Thanks for the replies and the encouragement.

Its kind of f**ked how the abuse messes with this basic thing--sleeping. But its cool that we each come up with different creative strategies to cope.

Take care of yourselves,


#23686 - 10/19/03 10:45 AM Re: Been awhile
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Hi Ken!

I just wanted to say that it's great to see you back here, and I'm glad that the medicine is working better for you. Please continue to take good care of yourself.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.