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#240107 - 07/25/08 06:39 AM Re: Help, my husband wants to runaway [Re: An]
bgd Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/29/08
Posts: 17
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
I am not sure why you say that your response may not be popular.
You seem to have done a great job in describing and analysing what happened and the resulting outcomes.
Don't forget, I (we) often feel the need to "recreate" the circumstances in order to forensically analyse and solve the "thing". So this is really helpful in that you have put words to some of my confusion and given me some insight into myself.
I have to print this off and take a while to read it. Actually I think I will do that slowly, because there is too much to take in at once.
I hope the females involved in this episode (LittleMiss for example) can get something out of this. If only they could make their partners read what you have written, just maybe the penny might drop. Some positive construction out of all this destruction really would be nice.
I don't think I have made any sense but I really appreciate your input, because positive input from a female maybe will help to undo that feeling that I wasn't protected by people that should have protected me.

#451051 - 10/23/13 10:39 AM Re: Help, my husband wants to runaway [Re: LittleMiss]
gettingstronger Offline

Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 317
Loc: Virginia
Survivor spouses/gfs,

Totally normal stuff going on here. Trust me, I know. Lots of times there's a desire to run off. "I can't provide for my family." "I'll always be a loser." "I'm not sure if I'm gay and I married her for the wrong reasons." "She wants sex and I don't since my feelings toward it got mangled by my perp." As you've discovered, this is the bag we guys get left holding.

If your spouse/bf has had bad therapist experiences, get another one. I had one tell me "I don't want to know what happened in the fourth grade." Believe it or not. (That's when I got molested, by the way.) I knew that wasn't going to be a good fit at all and found one who is just awesome. The good ones are out there too.

All I can suggest is that you try and build him up as best you can. Picture those thoughts (above) running through his mind 24/7 (they do!) and help him come to see what bullshit they are. Good luck to all of you and as one with an awesome, supportive wife, thanks. You're in a tough situation. Hang in there.

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