I grew up with a mother who had emotional problems all of her her life.as had her mother and her grand mother. The first ten years of my life my mother was in and out of mental hospitals.
At the age of ten I was eating breakfast before school when I heard the sound of breaking glass. And then my father running into the kitchen. I heard my parents struggling and as I walked into the kitchen I saw that my father had my mother pinned to the ground and there was blood all over both of them.
Then the cops and emt's arrived they strap her to genery and wheeled out to the ambulance . All my friends and neightbors watch her being wheeled off.
My brothers and I were sent to live with my grandmother in Tucson Az. I was in the forth grade and I felt totally alone there being two thosand miles from my parents.
My forth grade teachers name was Arthur B. C________l and at first he made me feel really special with all the attention that he showed me. I had never had much attention from my father.
He would have me sit on his lap and he would fondle me during class.His desk blocked the view so my fellow classmates couldn't see what he was doing to me.
It wasn't long until he had Chad sitting on one leg and me on the leg and he was fondling both of us. This went on for over six months. My feelings were really comfused about what was happening to me on one hand I liked the attention he gave me. Also phyically it was pleasurable but at the same time I hated it and at some internal level I knew it was wrong. but I was phyiscally and emotionally isolated from everybody and I had no one to turn to . My father was in Virginia and I was livng with my grandmother who was in her sixties taking care of of 4 kids,10 years old and under. I felt traped!!!with no way out.
There came a day when he wanted me to spend the weekend with him. He came over to my grandmothers house to ask if it would ok for me to sent the weekend with him(I did not want to but felt powerless to tell her why). She agreed to let me go.
He took me out to dinner and a movie (just like a date)and he started fondling me during the movie. I still remember the name of the movie RIO BRAVO-with John Wayne. He then took me to his house where we went to bed and he started fondling me again and then he made me touch his erection and masturbate him. After this point I have very little memory of what happened(some flashblacks of having him on my back pininng me to the bed).
The next mourning I told him I felt sick and I wanted to go home. He tried to talk me into staying but finally he agreed to take me home. But first he made me go to the bathroom and watch him jerk off into the tiolet. He told me not to tell anyone what we had we had done. Then he took me home and stay and talk to my gradmother for about an hour. I refused to go back to school for a week and when I did I never allowed him to touch me again. I think he knew if he pushed me more I might break and tell someone about what he had done. Also he saved me from drowning one day when we were at the high school swiming -the whole class- MIKE

Edited by walkingsouth (06/30/08 10:54 PM)
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009